Ray Lewis doesn't do golf.
The whole "whack-the-little-white-ball-with-the-long-skinny-club" thing? Yeah, not so much.
"There are some things that you're not just made to do, and I wasn't made to swing a golf club," Lewis said. "Tiger Woods is slim - his body doesn't have that many muscles. I'm a bigger brother. I don't like to do all that swinging from the hip. There's too much going on."
Lewis said the closest he comes is miniature golfing with his kids, which won't help him win the farthest-drive contest he's hosting tomorrow. The event is part of the inaugural Ray's Summer Days, which runs tomorrow and Saturday and includes a block party, golf classic, cocktail reception, 5K run and comedy jam. Which brings up another point: Lewis swears he's funny, but he's not going to be telling jokes at the comedy show Saturday.
"I'm a comedian - truthfully - but I'm going to let the people who get paid to do comedy run the comedy jam," he said.
While Lewis may or may not be able to get a crowd rolling by his lonesome, the rest of his comedy ensemble - Tommy Davidson, Nathaniel "Earthquake" Stroman, Gary Owen, Marvin Dixon and Melanie Comarcho - can hold their own with a microphone.
At least he'll get to go head-to-head with whoever wins the Madden NFL 2005 football video game tournament at Saturday's block party. He knows his team inside out, and he's ready to deliver a serious digital spanking.
"I got some weapons on there," he said. "I won't expose it all, but I got a nice little package. I don't think I'll lose. Put it like that."
Well, what happens if the challenger wins?
"I'll cut off the game before he does that."
A handful of Ravens players will attend the free block party at the Can Company along with the Ravens cheerleaders and mascot. Lewis hopes it can be an annual event that kids can look forward to each year - a Baltimore summer staple.
"I'm always looking to do something different," Lewis said. "That was something I could bring the community and all of downtown together and say, 'Listen, let's just come together and have a big block party, let the kids be kids, let the grown-ups come out and see different people.'"
It's all for a good cause - Lewis said he's using the proceeds to start a football league in the city for kids through high school. He hopes to raise about $100,000 from this weekend's events.
"With the funds we get from here and the funds we pull in from other places, we can give these kids something to really dream for," he said. "Truly."
Ray's Summer Days kicks off at 9 a.m. tomorrow with a longest drive and closest to the pin contest against Lewis at the Mountain Branch Golf Club at 1827 Mountain Road in Joppa. The Marriott Waterfront Hotel, at 700 Aliceanna St., hosts a cocktail reception and auction at 7 p.m. tomorrow. The 5K Run starts at 10 a.m. Saturday at the Can Company at 2400 Boston St. The free block party runs 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Saturday at the Can Company, at 2400 Boston St. The Comedy Jam starts at 7:30 p.m. Saturday at the 1st Mariner Arena at 201 W. Baltimore St. Ticket prices for Ray's Summer Days events vary; visit www.rayssummerdays.com for more details.