Somehow it doesn't seem fair how all sorts of people are making money on the Britney Spears marriage-annulment, while Brit and her one-time hubby, Jason Allen Alexander, get left out in the cold.
The Star shelled out $100,000 for a photo of the happy couple. The hip fashion statement of the moment is the "I'm the Guy That Married Britney" T-shirt from tshirthell.com. (Has Madonna already been spotted wearing that?) And it's only a matter of time until the rights to Mr. Britney's story get sold.
Yet the publicity has not helped Brit's "Me Against the Music" single, which could fall out of Billboard's Hot 100 next week, nor has it sent people scrambling for her In the Zone CD.
So we offer the once-and-current Ms. Spears the following cash-in suggestions:
* Offer running commentary on a new edition of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre DVD to explain where and when it inspired the marriage.
* Remake the Alec Baldwin-Kim Basinger vehicle The Marrying Man, but flip the genders.
* Kiss and make up with Christina Aguilera. On Pay-Per-View.
* Become a spokeswoman for Pop-Tarts.
* Become a Las Vegas tourism spokeswoman. After all, isn't this the classic "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" story?
Newsday is a Tribune Publishing newspaper.