SOUNDS LIKE Bob Ehrlich moved his lips and uttered a statement that might one day come back to bite him in the shorts. Asked if he would raise taxes to settle the state's budget deficit, Ehrlich said: "Please trust us, income taxes and sales taxes are off the board. Period. End of discussion."

Hey, Governor Soon, read my lips: You won the election, you can stop serving campaign baloney now. Just do what everyone else does: Blame Parris. That's the great thing about following in this guy's footsteps - you can say it was Governor Spendening who got you into just about any mess that comes up. Like Bogey and Bergman in Casablanca: You'll always have Parris.

Don't bet on slots

Governor Soon thinks his election was a mandate from Marylanders to put thousands of slot machines in racetracks, and he makes it sound like the magic lozenge for the state's fiscal woes. Just give us slots and - cha-ching! - we won't have to lay off state workers, we can give them that measly 2 percent pay raise, and citizens of the fifth-wealthiest state in the wealthiest nation in the world won't have to pay more in income taxes. Welcome to Simpleville!

In the spirit of keeping things simple, let me just point out that Ehrlich won because he was the more appealing candidate; his opponent made a tactical blunder in her selection of a running mate, and the voters of this oddly shaped state with the big bluish-green thing (Chesapeake Bay) wanted a change after years of Democrats in le palais du goob (the governor's mansion).

I didn't hear anyone - other than Ehrlich, racetrack owners, lobbyists for the gambling industry, their buddies in the General Assembly and a guy in a Pikesville bagel shop - calling for slots. We all know what's up. Slot machines do not represent sound fiscal planning. They represent more fat for fat cats. (Joe De Francis and his partners get 65 percent of the take for the first five years as a lovely parting gift from their stellar stewardship of Pimlico and Laurel. Hey, Joe, can I borrow your pinky ring for New Year's Eve?)

Plus - and this is simple, too - more gambling means transferring more of the burdens of paying for government services to those who can least afford it. And avoiding an increase in income taxes gives a further break to those who can.

(Increasing taxes is anathema to Republicans, so what Ehrlich said Monday was in some way charmingly predictable. Republicans have this fear that they will shrivel up, get warts and sudden serious tooth decay if they support even small increases in income taxes.)

It might not be immediately apparent to those reading these words, but people in this state are doing quite well. This is not the tax-and-spend hellhole depicted by radio talk-show callers from their bunkers in southern Pennsylvania.

"Maryland has one of the highest median household incomes in the nation at $52,868 (2000), which is 26 percent above the national average," reports the state's Department of Business and Economic Development. "Since 1990, Maryland's per capita personal income has ranked 5th among the 50 states, with its 2000 per capita income of $33,621 topping the national average by 14 percent. From 1990 to 2000, Maryland's per capita income increased by 46 percent."

Peter Berns, executive director of the Maryland Association of Nonprofit Organizations and a member of the Commission on Maryland's Fiscal Structure, wrote in The Sun recently: "Despite Maryland's wealth, we spend less than most states on a range of public services. Maryland ranks 50th in the percentage of personal income spent by state and local governments. It ranks 44th in spending (as a percentage of personal income) on education and libraries, 47th on health and social services, 49th on transportation and 45th on utilities, sewer and solid waste management. It ranks in the middle on public safety (25th) and on natural resources, parks and recreation (26th)."

So, remember these factoids the next time you hear Ehrlich or someone else speaking in alarmist terms about the state budget deficit. It all looks like rainmaking to me, an orchestrated effort to avoid the politically challenging task of increasing income taxes while proposing slots as the simple solution.

If Ehrlich wants to be remembered as the man who brought one-armed bandits to this oddly shaped state with the big bluish-green thing, that's fine - but that ain't much.

And too bad he already moved his lips and pledged no new taxes.

He could have just blamed Parris, for years to come.