I ADMIT to being a little grumpy. But I am trying. I am really trying to keep things light, to make spirits bright and to be civilized to telephone marketers. I even gave a relatively cheerful "Good morning" to the goggled woman at the Maryland vehicle emissions station on Erdman Avenue yesterday. She wasn't happy to see me -- would you be? -- but I tried to be nice. OK? So everybody just get off my back about the holidays and we'll be fine!

I'll even begin today's column with a feel-good story (before I tell you about the stolen Christmas tree).

A gift from a stranger

TJI reader Carolyn Cook was the victim of a random act of kindness yesterday. She wants to transmit, through this column, a thank-you to the perp.

"To the person in the red car at the Harbor Tunnel -- thank you for paying my toll [yesterday] morning. I was on my way to Annapolis, thinking about all of the things I have yet to do this holiday season. When I arrived at the tollbooth I was still fumbling with my money when the attendant told me you had paid my toll. Your generosity really put a smile in my heart and I'm still grinning. A gift as nice as yours should be shared, so on my way back to Baltimore I followed your example and paid the toll for the guy behind me. I hope he too has a very Merry Christmas and a happy New Year."

Ok, enough of that.

Now this ...

The Grinch strikes

A reader named Beth in Catonsville writes:

"My husband and I believe in buying live Christmas trees because they can be recycled and enjoy a second life. We have two blue spruces from Christmases past, and we're looking forward to adding a third to the collection at the season's end. We even put lights on the trees, adding a festive air to our otherwise unadorned landscape.

"Imagine my surprise [yesterday] morning when I saw a stump where a perfectly-shaped, seven-foot-tall blue spruce once lived. Someone had the audacity to not only enter our yard while we lay snug in our beds but to commit property theft for the sake of a Christmas tree. They even took the lights!"

I listened to Beth sympathetically, then suggested she park her car next to the surviving spruce and chain it to the tree. Sounded like a good idea, except that a thief would probably steal her car and the tree with it.

What can we say? The world is full of bottom-feeders.

All you can do, Beth, is to maintain your tradition, dig out the stump and plant this year's tree where the stolen one stood. If you don't do that, then the terrorists have won.

Christmas past

Someone asked me to name my favorite Christmas song, and I popped off and said, "Jingle Bell Rock," when what I really like -- what I'd want to hear if I only had one play left in the jukebox -- is "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas," sung by Judy Garland. It always reminds me of Christmas parties at Dypsky's old saloon in pre-yuppie Canton. Phil had the song on his jukebox. We used to sit there and drink Phil's cheap beer, then go upstairs and rummage through all the rug remnants and dead-man's suits he'd acquired during the year. Phil was a pack rat and, every Christmas, he sent us home with a rug remnant or used apparel. He was a great guy. I miss him.

I like the original recordings of Christmas songs. I don't want to hear the Michael Bolton versions. I was in a Home Depot against my will last week and, while walking through, I'm sure I heard Sappy Mike playing "Little Drummer Boy."

I want to thank Garrison Keillor for saying last year on his radio show what so many had been unwilling to say -- "Little Drummer Boy" is an annoying, monotonous song.

I've about had it with "The Twelve Days of Christmas," too. In fact, the only thing worse than "The Twelve Days of Christmas" is a spoof of "The Twelve Days of Christmas." I've never heard a good one, and boy, are they lonnnggg.

"Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" -- that's the ticket. Nice song, not too cheerful.