THANKSGIVING, ARGUABLY, is the best and worst holiday for the same reason: no presents.

It's a day that reminds us to pause and reflect upon what really matters.

Silver packages, with adorning red bows, will not be exchanged. Action figures, kitchen utensils, dollhouses and best-selling books will remain under wraps, waiting for another holiday. We shall be thankful for family and health, and we will gratefully acknowledge our good fortune in shelter, clothing and food - the essentials.

What else are we thankful for?

Republicans are thankful for two new houses. Gov.-elect Robert L. Ehrlich Jr. is especially thankful to the usually Democratic Maryland voters.

Democrats are not thankful. They will give thanks when the blame game shifts and someone shouts "Do over!" for 2004. Who will be shouting, Al Gore or Gary Hart?

New York City gives thanks for its chance to host the 2012 Summer Olympics. What a treat to visit an expensive, pulsating, overcrowded metropolis as it is transformed into an expensive, pulsating, overcrowded metropolis with javelin throwers. Fuggedaboudit!

The Rolling Stones are thankful that fans spend $300 a ticket so that we may reap electrifying energy and supreme satisfaction from soon-to-be-sexagenarian Mick Jagger.

The Osbournes, of MTV sitcom fame, are grateful, and a bit tired, for the hullabaloo surrounding their antics ... uh, lives. Now that their teen-age children have agents and lawyers to pay, we may find them less interesting and more tiresome.

The British royals, with the exception of Sarah Ferguson, actually remain in England and will not celebrate Thanksgiving. Sarah, the Duchess of York, also the spokesperson for Weight Watchers International, is grateful for overweight Americans.

It's a good thing. Kmart is thankful to Martha Stewart for standing with it through tough times. Apparently, the feeling is mutual.

Enron executives are grateful for the money they shared. Oops, they didn't share! We're grateful they were caught.

Andy Rooney is thankful for six out of 60 minutes.

Dr. Phil McGraw is grateful he met Oprah.

John Edward, psychic host of Crossing Over, is thankful to the multitude of spirits for the multitude of viewers.

Reality TV is grateful for surreal participants.

Stay-at-home dads are grateful to career moms. Career moms are thankful for drive-through banks, cleaners and oil changes.

The wired are thankful for wireless.

Families are thankful for Thanksgiving dinner. Finally, a meal together!

Baltimore is thankful to Angela and Carnell Dawson and their family for reminding us that courage is standing up for what is right despite our fears. Humanity prevails in the face of inhumane acts.

We are thankful the alleged snipers are in custody. We are particularly grateful to the motorist who had the wherewithal to spot the Chevy Caprice in a Frederick-area rest stop, call the authorities and await their arrival. We are very thankful to hear the laughter of children outdoors again.

Former President Jimmy Carter is thankful for his Nobel honor and grateful that his mission of waging peace has been well received.

Peace, now that's essential.

Shaun Borsh is a free-lance writer who lives in Columbia.