Eight paces separate Harry Potter from Bunny Rabbit (a.k.a. Eminem) -- just eight steps between theaters at Hoyt's Cinemas in Hunt Valley, where both popular movies are playing. Watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and Eminem's 8 Mile in the span of six hours is a pop-culture Festivus. Multiplex cinemas make for strange theatrical bedfellows.
Both movies have been neck-and-neck at the box office. Children and adults have flocked to see the second installment in the Harry Potter series. Despite its R rating (the f-word is used seemingly as often as "the"), Eminem's first movie is attracting legions of fans under 17. Adults love Harry, and kids love Eminem.
Let's meet our fall heroes.
In one corner, we have the young, shy, misunderstood and talented Harry Potter, who resembles a younger Sean Lennon. In the other corner, the young, shy, misunderstood and talented Jimmy Smith (a.k.a. Bunny Rabbit), who resembles an older version of Harry Potter's rival, Draco Malfoy.
An examination of both movies reveals surprising similarities between the rap and wizard worlds, between the lives of Harry and Eminem. Harry has a posse, so does Jimmy. Both are rule-breakers, both come from the wrong side of the tracks, both are from dysfunctional families.
Both characters could seamlessly switch places. Imagine Eminem in a hooded wizard's robe rapping at Hogwarts. Imagine Harry "Yo, Dog" Potter at a hip-hop club. Or maybe they should combine forces in one block-busting, Spidey-dissing movie. Imagine that.
Until then, check out their parallel lives.
HARRY
Home Life
Lived in a dark cupboard on No. 4 Privet Drive in England.
Social Life
The dark, grimy, spooky halls of Hogwarts.
Nicknames
Harry, Harry Potter, Potter, Mr. Potter.
Favorite Word
"Okay"
Parental Figures
Both parents killed. Harry lives with his Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia Dursley, and their loser son, Dudley. Tension in household.
The Women in Their Lives
Strained relationship with Aunt Petunia. Schoolmate and spell-master Hermione Granger still a romantic factor, although chum Ron Weasley dogs her. Ron's sister, Ginny, a possible love connection for Harry.
The Characters in Their Lives
Ron, Hermione, Hagrid, Snape, Malfoy, Dumbledore.
Proving Grounds
Must again battle archenemy Malfoy in Quidditch match between the two rival houses at Hogwarts -- Slytherin and Gryffindor.
The Insults: Round 1
"Training for the ballet, Potter?" Malfoy to Harry, as he twirls in midair to dodge the Bludger.
Harry has no response, thus "choking," as did Jimmy his first time on stage at the Shelter.
The Insults: Final Round
"Scared, Potter?" Malfoy to Harry.
"You wish." Harry says. Battle over.
JIMMY
Home Life
Lives in a trailer eight miles outside Detroit, area code 313.
Social Life
The dark, grimy, spooky streets of Detroit.
Nicknames
Jimmy, Jimmy Smith, Bunny Rabbit, B. Rabbit, Rabbit, "Yo, Dog," white boy, #%#, $!#$#, !#$%.
Favorite Word
"!#$%"
Parental Figures
Abandoned by his father, Jimmy lives with his kid sister and their mother. Mom's loser, live-in boyfriend is a former high school classmate of Jimmy's. Tension in household.
The Women in Their Lives
Bad news is, Jimmy's mother is a raging alcoholic. Good news is, Kim Basinger plays Mom. Jimmy's love interest is aspiring model and rap groupie, Alex. They exchange middle-digit opinions and more hospitable expressions of affection, namely in a sheet-metal plant. Monogamy, however, is not pursued.
The Characters in Their Lives
Future, Sol, Iz, Cheddar Bob, Wink, Papa Doc.
Proving Grounds
Must again battle archenemy Papa Doc at the Shelter, a hip-hop club where rappers square off in 45-second battles of improvised insults.
The Insults: Round 1
"This guy's a choke artist." Rival rapper Lickety-Split to Jimmy.
"Is that a tank top or a new bra?" Jimmy responds, advancing to the finals.
The Insults: Final Round
"I know something 'bout you. You went to Cranbrook and that's a private school!" Jimmy raps to Papa Doc.
Papa Doc has no response. Battle over.