Let me begin by saying I love New York and everything about the place, including the 8 million tough, edgy souls who live there.

What I love most about New Yorkers is that when someone's annoying them, they don't just shrug and think: "Oh, well, what're you gonna do?"

No, when someone's annoying them, New Yorkers tend to take action.

Sure, sometimes this action can be a little over the top; New Yorkers will launch into the most marvelous, Chernobyl-like meltdowns over everything from having their personal space violated on the subway to getting a lousy sandwich at a deli to getting stuck with a cabbie newly arrived from Armenia who can't get them to Chinatown.

Still, the point is: You tick off these people, they react.

So maybe it's no surprise to hear that New York could soon be the first city in the nation to take serious action against the most annoying people of all: rude cell-phone users.

Philip Reed, a member of the New York City Council, has introduced a bill that would mandate a $50 fine for anyone who uses a cell phone - or doesn't turn off the phone's ringer - during a movie, concert or Broadway show.

The measure would also target those idiots whose cell phones interrupt performances at concert halls, libraries, art galleries and the like.

Last year, New York became the first state to outlaw the use of hand-held cell phones by motorists while driving.

That was a safety issue, of course. But now the Big Apple is taking on cell phone rudeness as a quality-of-life issue. And as I have a deep and abiding dislike for those who pollute our lives with cell phone chatter, it was all I could do not to jump on the Metroliner with a bottle of champagne and head up to New York to personally offer my congratulations to Councilman Reed.

I did try getting through to the councilman by phone to tell him what a great American he is, what a credit to humanity, etc.

But the councilman was apparently very busy, with the giant tentacles of the media no doubt reaching out to him every which way.

The first time I called, an aide said the councilman was out, but that he'd get back to me - although apparently he didn't mean this year.

When I called back a few hours later, one aide said Reed was at "a major lunch" while another aide said he was at a council session - get your stories straight, people.

Still, I managed to speak to a man named Geoffrey Eaton, who said he was Reed's chief of staff.

Eaton said the cell phone bill sprang first from complaints the councilman had received from constituents fed up with loud cell phone conversations on city buses, and then from complaints about cell phones ringing - and being answered - at concerts, plays and movies.

A number of actors had also complained to the councilman, Eaton said. He cited two celebrated recent incidents where actors Kevin Spacey and Laurence Fishburne chided Broadway audiences when cell phones rang in the middle of their performances.

("You're busy!" Spacey reportedly shouted to the offender in his audience, while Fishburne responded to his audience with a word that cannot be used in a family newspaper - unless maybe it's the Ozzy Osbourne family newspaper.

"If you're an actor and you're 'in the zone' and the cell phone goes off, that ain't in the script," Eaton said.

Anyway, the City Council could act on the cell phone bill as early as this month, and Eaton said it "absolutely" has a realistic chance of being approved.

"There's been a tremendous amount of support for this," he said. "This is a home run for us."

Oh, I hope it passes, I told him at the end of our conversation. All good and decent people are pulling for you. May your jails fill with the rude, chattering, Nokia-wielding scum who are currently defiling the great Broadway theaters and concert halls and movie houses of the Big Apple.

OK, I got a little carried away.

For one thing, I forgot it was only a $50 fine. (Another Reed aide told me that under the bill, no matter how many times someone was ticketed for cell phone use at an indoor performance, the fine would remain $50. Oh, well. One can only dream.)

But mainly, I was getting fired up about the prospects of such a bill being passed in the great city of Baltimore, where the ringing of cell phones and the chattering of their mindless users interrupts many performances, indoor and out.

I could tell you about the clown behind me at a screening of My Big Fat Greek Wedding a few weeks ago who talked loudly on his cell phone, letting his buddy and everyone in our immediate area know that the Ravens were going to kick some butt on Sunday.

But I'm sure you have your own stories.