THIS IS ALMOST too rich for words.
A little more than a fortnight ago, retired Rear Adm. Charles R. Larson, 65, twice superintendent of the Naval Academy, former deputy chief of naval operations and former commander of U.S. forces in the Pacific, changed his political party affiliation from Republican to Democrat so he could be elected lieutenant governor of Maryland if Kathleen Kennedy Townsend were elected governor.
On Thursday, Townsend tapped the four-star admiral for just that, although she pronounced his last name LAHWson. Must be the Hyannis pronunciation.
Why would an individual of remarkably unblemished stature, at the age of retirement, decide that he wants what historically has been the most thankless job in Maryland politics? Free parking on State Circle in Annapolis? He misses the chauffeur-driven car? That can't be it.
Why would a man who has commanded a large part of the mightiest navy in the world decide to run for a job in which his commander would be an individual whose most important asset is her middle name?
I can see why Townsend's managers would find the admiral attractive. He has a mind and some serious convictions, many of which are not compatible with mainstream Republicanism - whatever that is. He has little experience in politics. The Kennedy aparatchiks may think they can take care of that shortcoming - even take advantage of it. But history is not on their side.
In its history, Maryland has had only six lieutenant governors - one from 1865 to 1868 and five since 1971. The job was re-created after Gov. Spiro T. Agnew, a Republican, left office to become vice president of the United States under Richard M. Nixon, and Marvin Mandel, a Democrat, and speaker of the House of Delegates, was elected to take Agnew's place.
Thenceforward, all agreed, it might make sense to have a lieutenant governor to take over if the governor decided he would be vice president of the United States, or, as it turned out, was sent to jail.
Marvin Mandel did go to jail, and Maryland's first 20th-century lieutenant governor, Blair Lee III, became acting governor in 1977. He even moved into the governor's mansion.
Lee's pedigree was so patrician that one could reasonably assume his ancestors were in positions of importance in America before Townsend's ancestors had left the old country. But this did not help him to be elected. He was tainted by association with Mandel. More important, he made the disastrous mistake of asking for a fork at the Milliard Tawes Annual Crab Feast in Crisfield, an event where aspiring politicians are observed like horses in the paddock before a stakes race.
Never mind. Lee really was too good to be governor of Maryland. He spoke English too well, never mispronouncing a word. He never said "no comment," rather, "This will be revealed to you in the fullness of time."
He also was dangerously candid. Once, according to his obituary in this newspaper, Lee was asked why he would not push for the legalization of marijuana.
"Because I've got other, more important, things to do," he replied. "And that goes for gay rights, too."
Of course he could not be governor. Poet laureate, maybe. Not governor. And he loved his rose garden.
Blair Lee's successor as lieutenant governor, under Harry Hughes, was a bizarre man named Samuel W. Bogley III. Bogley was a Prince George's County councilman. Townsend and Larson should probably note that Hughes knew little about Bogley, or vice versa. Hughes was not aware that Bogley and his wife, Rita, were passionate right-to-lifers, which was not at all compatible with what Hughes believed.
Other lieutenant governors included J. Joseph Curran Jr., who followed Bogley, and who did not become governor. Curran came to understand that he could be attorney general of Maryland for the rest of his life, and so ran for that job. And he was right.
And then came Melvin "Mickey" Steinberg, an ebullient Baltimore County politician whose ambition got the better of him. This was too much for Gov. William Donald Schaefer, who divorced Steinberg with the fury of a cheated wife.
Then came our current Gov. Parris N. Glendening, the shining light of the Washington suburbs and his lieutenant governor, Kathleen Kennedy (don't you forget that now) Townsend.
And she has picked Admiral Larson to be her running mate.
Townsend is favored to win the race for a few reasons. She is a Democrat, and Democrats still run Maryland. She is a Kennedy, and the name, the organizational skills, and the loads of money she raises, along with before-Election Day endorsements from the party poohbahs, make her practically invincible.
What would Larson have to do with her victory? Not much. Most voters do not care who the running mate is unless some huge controversy arises. They have more potential to hurt the prime candidate than to help.
What would be the admiral's reward?
Let me make a prediction.
"Admiral," she might say, "you've got all this military experience. Why don't you see what you can do with these juvenile boot camps?"