Brandy - Special Delivery, MTV's newest reality show documenting the daily life of R&B; singer Brandy, proves one thing for sure: The Osbournes made it look a lot easier than it is.

Brandy is MTV's effort to capitalize on the unexpected blockbuster success of The Osbournes. But there's a big difference between a camera-conscious 20-something young woman who's eight months pregnant and the foul-mouthed splendor of the first family of heavy metal rock.

One thing that Brandy and her self-conscious clan - husband Robert Smith, her manager mother, her interior decorator and someone named "Drain" - need to learn is the value of "show" over "tell." Instead of showing us what is going on, the program has Brandy tell us, in her deadly dull monotone.

For example, there's a scene in which her driver nearly has a spat with a pedestrian. But the closest the cameras get to any action is a blurry shot through a window. Then they switch over to the inevitable close-up of Brandy, telling us that the driver nearly had a spat with a pedestrian.

Duh, yeah, we already knew that.

But that is far preferable to the alternative, which is Brandy trying to share insight on who she is. Five times, she describes herself as an artist. "I'm an artist." "I'm a true artist." In one especially torpid speech, she says: "I'm a wife. I'm a mommy. I'm an artist. And all of that needs love."

She is also "a person in search of herself," and someone who is touched by the "beautiful moment" that occurs when fans ask her for her autograph at Macy's.

Her husband, Robert, on the other hand, says next to nothing. Their physical interaction seems to consist solely of him giving her head noogies.

The Osbournes had a cameo on Jay Leno, and so Brandy must have its cameo, which is Dick Clark. He's there because Brandy makes an appearance on the 50th-anniversary show of American Bandstand, but he doesn't have much to say.

What does it tell you about Brandy when you're absolutely dying for more Dick Clark?

Of course, no reality show would be complete without an expletive-spewing supporting character. Drain happily obliges, conducting a mega-decibel cell phone call that is almost entirely bleeped out.

The show was scheduled for four or five episodes, depending on when Brandy gave birth. The singer had a baby girl, Sy'rai, on Sunday, according to Atlantic Records and MTV.com. That's nice news for Brandy and, if it means fewer shows in this series, even better news for the rest of us.

TV

What: Brandy - Special Delivery

When: Tuesdays at 10:30 p.m. (The premiere episode repeats today and Saturday at 2 p.m. and Sunday at 1 p.m.)

Where: MTV

In brief: A reality show only an expectant mother could love.