You've got to hand it to Parris Glendening. His lame-duck administration waddles out of Annapolis in only a few more months, but this past week he launched a new effort to get rid of a lot of the state's dead wood.

Literal dead wood, that is, from the late Wye Oak, the majestic, 96-foot, 460-year-old tree toppled in a thunderstorm June 6. Not long after the tree was cut into pieces and moved to a Kent Island warehouse, the governor invited Marylanders to suggest "innovative ideas on how to use the wood ... saved from the Wye Oak."

How much wood, you might ask? Nobody really knows, says John Surrick, a spokesman for the state Department of Natural Resources. The largest single section, though, is 40 feet long and weighs more than 30 tons. That's a lot of commemorative crab mallets.

Surrick says the state is open to any and all suggestions (e-mail wyeoakideas@dnr .state.md.us). Hundreds of ideas have been received so far, from pen and pencil sets to 9 / 11 memorials to a desk for the governor.

Surely we Marylanders can be more imaginative. It's time to start thinking outside the bark, so to speak. To get the creative sap flowing, here are a few ideas:

* The Glendening-Schaefer Monument: A heroic sculpture of the governor and the former governor arguing about the cost of the sculpture at a Board of Public Works meeting.

* Bereano-Evans Memorial Back Scratchers: Included in every legislator's orientation kit to remind them of their most important constituents: lobbyists.

* Martin O'Malley Signature Guitars: Custom-made to play those "I Got the Greatest City in America but She Got the Statehouse Blues."

* New MTA bus wheels: The trip might be slower, but it's got to be safer.