The Detroit Lions, a bunch of NFL retreads who never got rolling last season, are going to run on Firestones in 2002.
Literally.
The Lions' new domed stadium, Ford Field, will feature a squishy, artificial playing surface made partly of rubber reclaimed from recalled Firestone tires.
You may remember that Ford Motor Co. declared 13 million Firestone tires defective two years ago, saying they'd caused 271 deaths and more than 800 injuries in accidents involving its sport utility vehicle, the Explorer.
Though the rubber may not be safe to drive on, it is apparently safe to drive down the field on.
Instead of sending the recalled tires to the landfill, Ford contracted with FieldTurf to use some in building a gridiron. The material will be shredded and reduced to a powder. It'll be mixed with silica sand and be formed into a carpet-like surface with the cushion of a suburban lawn.
Montreal-based FieldTurf Inc. has built more than 400 fields using tires, but this is the first one being constructed solely with Firestones. Lions owner William Clay Ford Sr., the father of the auto maker's current CEO, William Clay Ford Jr., insisted that the contract be written that way.
Maybe it was to reduce Ford's inventory of recalled tires. Or maybe it was because Bill Ford Jr. is the great-grandson of both Ford founder Henry Ford and Firestone founder Harvey Firestone.
Whatever the reason, expect a lot of blowouts at Ford Field this season.
"Please," wrote Robyn Norwood of the Los Angeles Times, "no jokes about the 2-14 Lions going from pushovers to roll-overs."
Follow the yellow brick road
Ford Field will further Detroit's reputation as the Motor City.
But, after watching the Pistons toss up bricks in the NBA Eastern Conference semifinals against the Boston Celtics, Randy Hill of Foxsports.com suggests that the city be redubbed "the Mortar City."
Called for traveling
Charles Oakley of the Chicago Bulls, commenting on the Boston Celtics in the playoffs:
"Boston had its ups and downs. Now they're back. They got the transmission fixed and they're back on the road."
That's not the first time this season Oakley has used transportation as a metaphor.
In April, after the Bulls were routed, 100-68, by the New Jersey Nets, he summed up his team's collapse by saying: "This ain't like a flat tire where you can fix it and keep on riding. This is a blowout. No spare. Nothing open for, like, a hundred miles. So we've go to do some walking."
Lane violations
Last October, AutoOz made available at Ford dealerships 500 limited-edition Shaq SST Expeditions, which were designed by Los Angeles Lakers center Shaquille O'Neal.
Said Bud Geracie of the San Jose (Calif.) Mercury News: "[It's] the perfect vehicle to run over those who have position in the lane."
Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle also thinks O'Neal is heavy on the pedal, telling him in print: "I bet when you park your car, you don't bother to open the garage door."
A final shot
Comedy writer Argus Hamilton in the Chronicle: "The Los Angeles Olympic Organizing Committee chairman said that L.A. will have to build two shooting ranges if the city wants to host the 2012 Games. That's ridiculous. What's wrong with the freeways we have?"
Compiled from wire reports and Web sites.