Long live the King of pop punditry


Editor's note:

Sadly, USA Today has decided to drop CNN talk show host Larry King's long-running column later this month, calling it a casualty of a redesign of the paper. Fortunately for King fans, The Sun's Arthur Hirsch and David Folkenflik have obtained a draft believed to be his final submission. Although we cannot vouch for its authenticity, it is printed here for posterity:

Can Omar Vizquel play shortstop or what? ... For my money, the Theory of Evolution still holds up ... Tellya what, Ella Fitzgerald, may she rest in peace, could sing at my birthday party anytime ... Ever notice how copy machine repair guys always wear short-sleeve dress shirts?... I have never understood why a perfectly nice place like Burma would want to call itself Myanmar ... Bar none, the liver is the best internal organ going for filtering the human blood supply ... Tippi Hedren retired from the screen too young ... You think about Chester A. Arthur and you think: President ... Pound for pound, the Louvre museum is one of the world's greatest cultural treasures ... More than anything else, I lament the passing of the perfect corn dog ... Kudos to Jonas Salk ... Is it just me, or is Gouda one helluva cheese? ... OK, out on a limb here: This Britney Spears could be the decade's Annette Funicello ... There's no satisfaction like reading a good book to the end ... I can say with all sincerity that Shawn Southwick is definitely the woman I have most recently married ... Rudy Giuliani has redefined what it means to be an urban politician ... I don't know about you, but the La Brea Tar Pits still creep me out ... Hey, as the Shah of Iran said when the Ayatollah stormed into Tehran, you've been a great crowd, good night.

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