Daniel Wallace and Sarah Orens are a lot alike -- smart, healthy and likable 9-year-olds who attend Catonsville Elementary School -- but mention the subject of allowance and comparisons turn complicated.
Sarah earns $1.50 weekly, Daniel $3. Sarah must keep her room neat to earn her cash, Daniel has a wealth of chores to do from cleaning off the kitchen table after dinner to feeding his fish and making his bed.
When Daniel practices his piano, his parents give him a ticket and when he collects 20 of them, he earns a toy. Sarah's unique in a different respect: She's expected to donate 50 cents of her weekly allowance to charity.
Adding to the confusion: The rules in both households are subject to change -- and are not always uniformly enforced.
"We may be misleading you if you're thinking that this was extremely well thought out," admits Dr. Jonathan Orens, Sarah's father, an associate professor of pulmonary medicine at Johns Hopkins Hospital.
The days of a casual quarter-a-week tip from Dad are long past. Welcome to the age of weekly allowances that top $10, according to one recent survey, and youngsters who track their mutual fund investments by laptop.
Not only have childrens' allowances gotten bigger, but in an era of single-parent families, children who want $100 sneakers, and brokerage accounts replacing savings bonds, the whole enterprise seems to have become more complex.
How much should they receive? Should it be tied to chores? Who decides how they will spend or save it?
"You want to do the right thing, but you don't know what the right thing is," says Amy Nathan, author of "The Kids' Allowance Book" ($8.95 Walker and Co.). "Families often go through a lot of different plans and arguments to try to figure things out."
With more advertising campaigns than ever aimed at kids, parental wallets are feeling the pinch. Children want more things, but these fledgling consumers need to learn the value of money, too.
That makes an allowance an appealing concept. An allowance forces a child to manage his own money and set financial goals. Two recent national surveys reveal that about two-thirds of children get money regularly from their parents.
"Kids must learn there aren't inexhaustible resources," says Dr. Linda S. Grossman, associate professor of pediatrics at University of Maryland Medical Center. "They have to learn to make choices."
But before a parent reaches for that billfold, a decision has to be made: Is the allowance merely a distribution of family resources or will it be tied, like a salary, to chores? It's an important distinction.
In researching her book, Nathan found that most child behavior experts preferred that allowances not be linked to chores. Yet most parents wind up doing just the opposite.
Why not make an allowance conditional? The experts worry that it sends a child the wrong message -- that they do chores primarily to earn money, not because they have an obligation as part of a family.
"Allowances are best for teaching children about money," says Dr. Michael A. Bogrov, child and adolescent psychiatrist at Sheppard and Enoch Pratt Hospital. "I never recommend using allowances as a behavioral intervention."
Holding back an allowance is not necessarily an effective punishment anyway. It means, for instance, that a youngster's misbehavior on Monday may go unpunished until Friday when allowances are dispensed.
"If a child doesn't need money one week, does that mean he doesn't have to walk the dog?" says Nathan.
Better to deny a child television that night or some other disincentive that can have an immediate impact on problem behavior, Bogrov says. By keeping allowance sacrosanct, children will get the message that they are valued.
"You don't want a child to feel they're loved only when they're productive," says Bogrov.
There is a way to compromise. Some parents offer their children a "base" salary and, like pro sports contracts, offer incentives: Clean the garage and earn an extra $10, or baby-sit your little brother for $15.
The parents of both Sarah and Daniel adopted some form of that system and Nathan approves. "It can even teach older kids to work cooperatively -- to pitch in together to finish a chore," she says.
Next, comes one the toughest decisions of all: How much to pay? The rule of thumb is (believe it or not) about $1 per week per year of age.
That may sound like a lot -- it may even be too much for some children. It depends on what a child is expected to finance out of his or her own pocket. Will he have to pay for his school lunch? Birthday gifts for friends? Clothing?
There is no right and wrong about that, Nathan says, but, whatever rules the parents decide to follow, they have to be factored in the size of the allowance and that's not easy. "Often, parents have no clue what expenses are for a kid," she says.
Jonathan D. Pond, the noted financial adviser and TV commentator, is an advocate of the dollar per week per year of age.
But he also expects his three children, age 4, 8 and 11, to save a big chunk of it. They must put one-third in a short-term account like a piggy-bank and one-third in their mutual funds.
"They all started on an allowance at age 4 -- I'm a great believer in them," says Pond, a Massachusetts resident. "Heaven knows it's in everyone's best interest to make kids financially literate."
A survey conducted for Consumer Reports' magazine for kids, Zillions, last year found the average 8-to-9-year-old received $3.74 a week. A similar study done earlier this year for cable TV's Nickelodeon channel found the mean -- or mid-point average -- for 6- to 8-year-olds was higher, about $4.80.
With that much money in the hands of their children, parents may be tempted to closely regulate how it is spent. Once again, the child behaviorists think parents should resist their first disciplinary impulse.
A youngster who spends money unwisely will learn from that experience, says Dr. Grossman. "One of the important things an allowance does is give a child power -- letting them decide that maybe candy is important this week."
Grossman said parents are better off giving guidance and advice. But that doesn't mean a child is free to spend it on anything. Parents can still ban inappropriate purchases -- like violent video games or CDs with X-rated lyrics.
"It's OK to set limits on kids," says Bogrov. "Giving them freedom doesn't mean you don't supervise them."
For the Orens and the Wallaces, that's a real tightrope walk. Both have insisted their children save some of their money, but have also been willing to let the children buy toys when they want them.
"My philosophy is that it's her money, she will make good investments and bad investments," says John Orens.
Matthew and Jody Wallace started offering tickets to Daniel for piano practicing because they didn't want his practice to be equated to chores. But they had to cringe a bit at the prize -- action figures -- that Daniel can use his tickets to buy.
"I'm not good at keeping charts or making lists and the tickets give him something tangible," Jody Wallace says, "and he should be having fun."
Both families admit to making a common parental mistake -- not being consistent about allowance. Paydays are sometimes forgotten, rules relaxed a bit -- or tightened -- depending on mood or circumstance.
Sarah, a 3rd grader, says she has to count up the money she has accumulated each month to prove to her mother that a weekly allowance was missed.
"Mom sometimes forgets," she said.
Daniel says his parents can often be talked into buying things for him that are supposed to come out of his allowance. "It makes up for the times she forgets to give me an allowance," he adds.
While it's better to be consistent, parents shouldn't get too disturbed about such inconsistencies, says Bogrov. Sometimes, "it's OK to leave a child a little perplexed," he says.
"It's best to cover all the rules ahead of time and be consistent and discuss things with your kids, but sometimes things happen," says Bogrov.
Still, no parent can keep from smiling the first time they see an allowance at work -- like the time a child decides he doesn't want a popular toy because he'd rather save his allowance for something more important.
"There's just no one right way to do it," says Nathan. "It's just a matter of figuring out how it can work for your family, your kids and your financial resources. You may have grandiose plans, but in the end, you compromise."