If you believe everything you read, you'd think film festivals were more about celebrities, studio deals and the sartorial necessity du jour than the rather scruffy business of sitting in the dark and watching movies.
To really be a part of Cannes, you need the right invitation. To truly enjoy Sundance, you need the right Prada parka. It's all about what Miramax picks up and for how much. Or so the increasingly agog entertainment media would have us believe.
In reality, festivals are pretty simple. First you buy a red wax pencil, then you get the most final version of the festival schedule, then you commence to circling. You show up early to the screenings of your choice, nab a good seat and enjoy -- or not -- the cinematic offerings to be had. If you are inclined and if the filmmaker is in the house, you might choose to stay for a question-and-answer period, you may hie yourself to the next show, or you may repair to the nearest bar to engage in spirited debate over what you've just seen.
This is what a festival is: seeing tons of movies squeezed into a few days in an increasingly littered theater with cinephiles whose rabidity grows in inverse proportion to the sleep they've had. Because in most cases, you won't be able to see these particular films again -- certainly not in such a febrile mood of pure movie-joy. You find yourself eating things full of ingredients you swore you'd never touch, because they're there and your next screening is in three minutes.
You find yourself getting into heated arguments with total strangers while standing in line to a movie whose title you've forgotten just now. You find yourself swelling with the pride of proprietorship when you recommend your favorite film to a friend who will go and emerge awed at your prescience. A couple of days into it, you find that "real life" is something that increasingly calls for quotation marks.
Welcome to the giddy, bleary, not-quite-so-real life of the festival-goer. For most Baltimore filmgoers, the new Maryland Film Festival, which kicks off tomorrow, will be their only chance to take part in this particular brand of decadent, exhausting, invigorating indulgence, at least until this time next year. For neophytes, The Sun has concocted a list of gentle exhortations, designed to maximize pleasure and minimize angst. Most of this advice, of course, has been gleaned the hard way.
1. DO plan ahead. Visit the Maryland Film Festival Web site at http: //www.mdfilmfest.com to get the most up-to-date schedule, and study the program notes carefully. There may be an actor or filmmaker you've always been a fan of, hidden beneath a title that otherwise wouldn't interest you. Once you get a written schedule, circle, scribble, make notes -- and be prepared to abandon all of it if something else entices you. Which leads to our next rule
2. DO be flexible. Most of the best festival experiences happen when you can't get into your first choice. This year's festival is ideally situated for such spontaneity, since most of the screenings are at the Charles Theatre, making it easy to spin on a dime and pop into another theater. You had your heart set on seeing Giancarlo Esposito introduce a screening of "Do the Right Thing," but it's sold out? Wait a few minutes and check out "The Saltmen of Tibet," a highly acclaimed documentary about a nomadic tribe living in a place of sublime beauty. You may discover a world you never thought existed.
3. DO remember to eat. At most festivals, filmgoers are reduced to foraging for nuts and berries in order to stay nourished, especially when those long restaurant lines kick in. Luckily, the Maryland Film Festival venues will provide lots of noshing opportunities. The Orpheum in Fells Point is in, well, Fells Point, offering myriad gustatory choices. And Classic Catering will provide wrap sandwiches, fruit, cookies, ice cream, fresh roasted nuts and other goodies in the Charles lobby to make sure the sound of growling stomachs doesn't drown out the movies. A bottle of water is a good idea, too, but remember: You may have to pay for it later, just when you have to see what happens next. Imbibe judiciously (that goes for the free coffee refills, too).
4. DO be a nosy neighbor. If you're standing in line, ask the folks next to you what they've seen and liked. Compare notes. This is the best part of festivals, and you can discover gems this way.
5. DO wear comfortable clothes. Pajamas with feet would be ideal, but if you're over 3, wear loose-fitting, breathable clothes that forgive sitting for long periods of time. Because theater conditions are never predictable, layering is a good idea. Comfy and supportive shoes are good for standing in line. Try not to carry anything on your shoulder; after a day of lugging a purse or a knapsack around, you won't need anything inside. Instead, resort to said fanny pack, or make sure to wear stuff with big pockets. I favor overalls because they have plenty of space for folded-up schedules, notebooks, pens, money, Altoids and the invariably proffered business cards (see 4).
6. DO leave a screening if you're miserable. This is a touchy issue. There's nothing worse than a lot of commotion during a screening. (We won't even address the issue of cell phones, because Baltimore filmgoers are truly sophisticated and leave them at home or turn them off or turn off the ringer when they watch a movie. Don't they?) On the other hand, if you are truly unhappy and there's another interesting movie starting in five minutes in the next auditorium, you might think about it. But only if you can leave with discretion and courtesy and without flooding the theater with light. Remember that the filmmaker may well be in the audience, and this is his baby. No one's asking you to coo politely, just don't spit in the kid's face.
7. DON'T believe the hype. In the case of film festivals, the word is actually "buzz," and it usually refers to films with hot commercial prospects. Gratefully, the organizers of the Maryland Film Festival have organized a program that is eclectic enough to be buzz-free, being composed of classics, experimental films and movies that have found a comfortable niche on the festival circuit. See the movies that you want to see, especially if they don't have commercial prospects. That's what festivals are for.
8. DON'T overlook documentaries and short films. This is an extension of the previous rule, because docs and shorts have the worst prospect of getting theatrical release. And it's a shame, because they are usually the most engrossing and ingeniously crafted movies at any fest (Cinema Sunday's recent preview of the non-fiction "Hands on a Hardbody," which will be shown at the festival on Friday, proved that point last weekend).
9. DON'T forget that during festivals, theaters are over-extended. Be patient. Screenings may start late. Be patient. Equipment may behave temperamentally. Be patient. Programming may be re-scheduled, scotching a delicious triple-feature you had painstakingly planned. Be patient. Then be flexible (see 2).
10. DON'T complain when two films you desperately want to see are playing in the same time slot. If you find that happening a lot, that means the festival is succeeding and that the programmers have assembled such a compelling schedule of movies that it's actually painful to choose. Every town should have these problems. However, as long as they're not in complaint form, do make your feelings known to festival and theater staff; demand may result in an added screening or in the theater bringing a movie back for a limited run.
11. DON'T abuse the volunteers. They're working long hours with little sleep and few perks, usually out of an unbridled passion for film. And, since this is the festival's shakedown cruise, they probably know about as much as you do. Be patient (see 9).
12. DON'T ever forget that it's only a movie. Or, in this case, a bunch of movies. Festivals are for seeing rarely seen films, and they're for fellowship, so make sure you schedule enough time to take breaks for drinks, snacks and chat. As much as you're sure to remember what you've seen at the first edition of the new Maryland Film Festival, you're just as sure to remember whom you met there. Here's hoping this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Pub Date: 4/21/99