DAUGHTERS, a newsletter for the parents of them, is the third child of Jack Hoos, who has a couple of daughters himself.
He began publishing it four years ago after finding himself at a crossroads. He was 40, and behind him was a career in consulting and corporate banking. Ahead of him was the growing-up of two young daughters, a process he found more exhilarating and challenging than anything at the office.
"I started looking down the road to see what there was out there for me to read," says Hoos from his home/office in Nashville, Tenn. "Not a lot.
"There is more now, but it doesn't match parenting. I don't have time to read books. And they are generally on one topic. I need a little bit of information on a lot of topics."
That's what Daughters is. Never more than eight pages, Hoos' newsletter provides kernels and capsules culled from all the best thinking out there about girls ages 8 to 18.
"For the first time in my life," says Hoos, "I have a mission and I feel like I am accomplishing it."
Under the sharp editing of Amy Lynch, with the careful writing of Susan Chappell, and in consultation with top advisers in adolescent health, mental health, education and popular culture, the newsletter is mailed eight times a year to 10,000 subscribers, Hoos says.
"We aren't religious or political. We are information-based and action-oriented. We want parents to feel confident about the information they are getting."
The January issue of the newsletter evoked the most profound response yet. An article called "6th Grade -- The Limbo Year," written by Chappell in consultation with educators, was supposed to be just another in a series profiling the emotional and developmental issues in the lives of girls -- this time, 12-year-olds.
Daughters was overrun with requests for copies and reprints of the article from teachers, parents and counselors.
"It was startling," said Hoos, who had published developmental profiles of girls in other grades without this kind of reaction. "I think one of the reasons is that it is such a pivotal year. Teachers feel it. Parents feel it. I have a sixth-grader right now and I'm feeling it. The other reason is that the advice is so good. It makes sense. The steps are very clear." Chappell, in preparing the capsule description of girls in sixth grade, talked to veteran teachers. "They knew the territory well," says Chappell.
"It is a limbo year for girls in particular," says the former newspaper reporter and mother of two young daughters. "They are trying to balance these new feelings and this new self and still keep their academics in line."
The most difficult issue for girls this age, says Chapell, is cliques and friends. Relationships with her peers crowd everything else out of her head and if things are going badly, she cannot focus on anything else. Her school work will suffer and her moods will rocket from one side of the room to the other.
"We write about cliques and friends often in Daughters," says Chappell, "and every time we do, we realize we can never write enough."
Chappell writes that it is difficult for your daughter to be successful academically if she feels left out. Even if she is "popular," her grades may suffer if she gets too caught up in the social scene.
Fixing these problem may require your intervention and help from her teachers. "Remember," Chappell advises, "friendship is a skill she is learning; you can help her identify true friends."
Assure her of her abilities, Chappell writes, help her organize her life with a calendar and study skills; talk about the changes she is experiencing in her body, and let her choose her clothing, within reasonable limits, because she is dressing for her friends and their approval is critical to her happiness.
Finally, Chappell's profile of the sixth-grade girl includes perhaps the simplest and soundest advice the parents of this age group can hear: Keep your daughter fed and well-rested.
"She is stretching and she is growing and we are not as impor- tant to her as her friends are and this is a very hard time for both of us," says Chappell. "But if we can still get her to give in to a nap, it could be the best thing for her."
And she might have added -- but the newsletter is not called Mothers -- we might do well take a nap, too. If only to keep up with our daughters.
Daughters is mailed eight times a year for a subscription price of $25. To subscribe, call 800-829-1088; or write Daughters, 1808 Ashwood Ave., Nashville, Tenn. 37212; or visit its Web site at http: //daughtersnewsletter.com.
Pub Date: 3/30/99