If you really want to understand what "Elton John and Tim Rice's Aida" is, start by looking at what it's not.

First of all, "Aida" is not a rock opera. True, it draws from the same story that gave us Verdi's opera about the doomed love affair between the Egyptian general Radames and the Nubian slave girl Aida. But as rewritten by Tim Rice and Elton John -- the same team that gave us Disney's "The Lion King" -- this "Aida" has no arias and no triumphant march, just a string of plot-related pop songs.

Secondly, "Aida" (Rocket 314 524 628, arriving in stores today) is not an original cast album. Even though a version of John and Rice's "Aida" was mounted in Atlanta last year, none of the performances on the album come from that production. Instead what we get is an all-star collection of songs from the show.

Finally, "Aida" is not very good. Despite a cast that includes the likes of Sting, Shania Twain, Tina Turner, LeAnn Rimes, Janet Jackson and the Spice Girls, "Aida" is a star-studded muddle, with little drama, less focus and mostly forgettable music. Spin it enough times and you'll believe that the album, like Radames and Aida themselves, should be sealed in a pyramid and forgotten.

How could such a stirring story make for such a mediocre musical? Part of the problem has to do with the way the album was recorded. Instead of treating "Aida" like an Elton John album that just happened to have a host of high-profile cameos, executive producer Phil Ramone pieced much of the album out, allowing the guest artists to handle the recording and arrangement of their tracks.

Theoretically, this do-it-yourself approach should have let each star shine his or her brightest. Instead, it let them tumble into unintentional self-parody.

For instance, the album-opening "Another Pyramid" finds Sting delivering a pop-reggae number torn straight from the Police stylebook. Never mind that Sting recruited reggae legends Sly Dunbar and Robbie Shakespeare to provide the skanking afterbeats; the track reeks of cliche. And where does Rice get off trying to rhyme "ruler" with "minusculer"?

Likewise, the clothes-horse anthem "My Strongest Suit" should be a perfect fit for pop's reigning fashion victims, the Spice Girls. But the threadbare chorus -- "Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere" -- and Motown-knockoff groove do little to flatter the Girls, making them seem as tired and obvious as last year's look.

"Aida" isn't entirely miscast. The balance between John's melodramatic tenor and LeAnn Rimes' powerhouse soprano is perfectly suited to the melodic excess of "Written in the Stars," putting real punch behind its soppy sentimentality. Shania Twain does a delightful job with "Amneris' Letter," a brief piano-and-vocal soliloquy surging with understated passion, and Dru Hill brings much-needed drama to the epic "Enchantment Passing Through."

But a few good moments are not enough to support an album as bloated as this. "Elton John and Tim Rice's Aida" may fancy itself an off-Broadway hit, but the truth is, it's just plain off.

Various artists

"Elton John and Tim Rice's Aida" (Rocket 314 524 628)

Sun score: *

Pub Date: 3/23/99