Harvey Rapp, a psychologist in private practice in Columbia, answers a question frequently asked by concerned parents.

My 9-year-old has trouble keeping track of his things and finishing his work. The teachers say he is always out of his seat and disrupting other children or asking for help. At home, he complains about doing his homework, and we get into arguments. I want to help him take responsibility, but it seems as if I am always punishing him or he is being ridiculed in school. Could some of his problems be related to academic difficulties?

To determine the cause of your child's problems, you need to explore several key areas in his life. First, check with his teachers and school counselor to identify troublesome behaviors in school. Observations in both his main content subjects and nonacademic areas would provide a sampling of his behaviors in various settings. Look for repetitive behaviors and see if any pattern emerges. Significant information could also be obtained by having a conference with his classroom teacher and other school staff who know him well.

Second, consult with his pediatrician. Let the doctor know about your child's problem behaviors. The doctor will conduct an examination of him to rule out any medical problems. If the pediatrician suspects he has an attention deficit disorder (or ADD), rating scales to assess ADD can be given to you and his teachers to fill out and return for scoring. More information can be obtained through psychological testing, which can be done privately or through the school system.

If your child is diagnosed with ADD, there are several ways to manage it. He can be given medication by the pediatrician to help him focus better, stay on task and be less disruptive. Behavior reinforcement systems can be helpful in the school or home setting and can be set up in conjunction with the pediatrician, counselor, teachers and parents. Classroom management techniques for ADD can be discussed with the teacher. Parents should also continue educating themselves about ADD through literature and parent support groups such as Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorders at 305-587-3700.

If a learning disability is suspected, additional educational testing can be done privately or by the school system to determine the best learning strategies to employ with your child and to ascertain his academic strengths and weaknesses. Because you say your child is being ridiculed at school, his school counselor is in a strategic position for finding ways to build his self-confidence, self-esteem and correcting the social difficulties he is experiencing.

The conflicts you are having at home seem to be manifestations of your child's frustrations with school demands and your desire to have him act more studiously and responsibly. In effect, there is a power struggle going on between both of you. Meeting with a psychologist for family counseling and/or individual sessions with your child may help ease the tensions and provide problem-solving solutions.

As you can see, there is no simple answer to your question. It will take some time, effort and patience by you to coordinate the different educational, mental health and medical professionals to arrive at an effective plan of action to assess what is going on and help your child achieve better in school.

Pub Date: 12/20/98