If everyone ran for office where the heart remains, San Francisco would be grossly over-represented.

Privatize Social Security! after they find a vaccination against bear markets.

Polls show 68 percent of the American people blaming Clinton for the stock market while 32 percent credit him with breaking Roger Maris' record.

Cheer up. Parris and Kurt are acting civil to each other.

Pub Date: 9/07/98