As summer's warm weather and long days lead inexorably to parties, so parties lead to varying degrees of terror. Whether it's a bridal or baby shower, a graduation celebration, a retirement party, a first Communion or a confirmation, even a confident cook may quake at the prospect of preparing a meal for a small crowd.

But giving a party needn't be a traumatic event. We've talked to a variety of party-givers to construct a master menu that's easy to prepare and designed to appeal to a broad range of guests. Our menu serves 25, but it can be easily multiplied or divided to suit your guest list. And we've developed a set of specific instructions for customizing the menu for your particular party.

First, let's review the basics of party-menu planning. Go for a buffet. Unless you have servants (or exceedingly cooperative children), this is the best way to get food to your guests. You can set up everything except dessert and coffee before your guests arrive, and all you'll have to do during the party is replenish the platters. For all but the most intimate events, Barbara Sheridan, who runs the cooking school Look Who's Cooking, suggests hiring one person - a neighborhood teen-ager, your mother, anybody - to help.

Stick to recipes that can be made ahead and that you've prepared with success in the past; don't experiment.

Serve no more than two dishes that need to be kept hot. Recipes designed to be served at room temperature are much more buffet-friendly, and there's a limit to the number of chafing dishes that one buffet table can accommodate. Don't be afraid to integrate store-bought items into your repertoire. If the local gourmet shop makes a divine pasta salad, is it worth it to knock yourself out making one from scratch? On our master menu we've indicated store-bought alternatives for every course. Have some hors d'oeuvre-type items - cheese, crackers, crudites - on the buffet so your guests can have something to nosh the moment they arrive.

On the entree front, unless your guests are unusually like-minded, serve at least one light meat (chicken or fish) and one red meat. Caterer Joe Farahat said salmon is as popular as chicken and buying an already-poached salmon couldn't be easier. For the red meat, Farahat has found that beef engenders fewer objections than lamb or pork. Lean cuts of meat work better at room temperature - no unappealing congealed fat. Beef tenderloin and less extravagant flank steak are two cuts that work hot, cold or in between.

Round out the meal with a starch side dish that can do double duty as a vegetarian entree. Caterers Scott Schneider and Eddie Chwalisz said vegetarians will appreciate a hearty pasta or grain-based dish rather than potato salad. You'll also need a vegetable and a tossed salad with dressing on the side.

Every caterer we talked to promised that a bountiful selection of breads (and a good bread knife) is sure to please.

If you're an accomplished baker, a party is the perfect opportunity to dazzle your guests with a show-stopping dessert. For the rest of us, however, a homemade dessert can be needlessly stress-inducing. Find a good bakery and buy a selection of individual desserts - cookies, tartlets, biscotti, rugelach, etc. Most of the caterers cautioned against one big occasion cake because your guests will always include a contingent that doesn't like carrot cake, chocolate cake or even yellow cake. And always serve a selection of fruit.

How to customize the festivities

* Bridal shower/baby shower: Showers are generally daytime events at which the guests are predominantly female. Not to perpetuate any stereotypes of women's inconsistency but ... every caterer we talked to said that women (a) want a lighter meal and (b) expect an extravagant dessert. What this means for you, the party thrower, is to settle on a chicken or fish entree and up the quantity of salad. You may want to dispense with the bountiful bread basket and just offer some grissini, the slim Italian bread sticks. Providing a platter of tortillas will enable your guests to construct their own wraps.

And then go nuts with dessert: Barbara Sheridan suggests dainty treats such as tartlets, petits fours, truffles, etc. Fresh fruit will satisfy guests who decide to stick to their diets.

* Graduation party: Your kid's graduating, so make sure you serve food that his or her friends will enjoy. Why not serve your kid's favorite food? Sheridan said that pizza and Mexican food (nachos, quesadillas) are usually a hit with teens, so you could order some of those to complement your buffet.

Or you might want to barbecue. The ginger chicken on our master menu works great on the grill, and you can substitute hamburgers and hot dogs for the beef. Vegetarian alternatives will be a must in a group of teens, so make sure you serve a vegetarian entree, a vegetable and a salad. Graduation is a great excuse to order a truly over-the-top cake made in the shape of your child's hobby or passion. Soccer cakes, sports-car cakes, South Park cakes ... or there's always Fudgie the Whale.

* Retirement party: The vogue for room-temperature food can sometimes be lost on seniors, according to Joe Farahat so if your party is skewed to a more mature group of attendees, you'll want to have at least one or two hot dishes. Be respectful of maturing digestive tracts and low-sodium diets. Perhaps instead of a full-flavored chicken dish, you could serve a roast turkey breast with a spicy chutney on the side for more adventurous diners.

For dessert, caterer Corinne Futerman serves at least one selection that's festive but healthful. She makes a sugar-free rugelach that is always a big hit with older guests. Likewise, fat-free biscotti.

* Communion/confirmation: Family affairs usually mean that your guests range in age from younger than 1 to older than 80, so the idea is to put together a menu that will appeal to everyone. Sheridan suggests that when you invite a number of children, let your own kids help plan the menu.

When she's planning a party with kids, she makes sure to have a couple of the following: pizza bagels, hot dogs (or better still, pigs in blankets), baked macaroni. Futerman suggests chicken fingers and meatballs as well. As for dessert, well, having kids at your party is the best excuse for serving cupcakes.

Consider this master menu a guide to successful party-giving:

Appetizers

* Crudites and dips, cheese and crackers, olives, nuts, etc., or buy a prepared antipasto platter

Entrees

* Ginger and garlic chicken (or buy deli chicken)

* Crisp roasted salmon (or buy poached salmon)

* Flank steak roulade (or buy a ham)

* Pasta, vegetable and wheat berry salad (or buy a meatless pasta salad)

Side dishes

* Tossed greens with vinaigrette on the side

* A vegetable dish such as string beans almondine or grilled vegetables

* Bread basket

Dessert

* Fresh seasonal fruit and a selection of pastries, cookies, biscotti and rugelach

Recipes for party success

Assemble the Flank Steak Roulade the day before your party, wrap it in plastic and refrigerate it overnight. You can serve it hot or at room temperature. This recipe was adapted from one given to us by caterer Jim King.

The versatile Ginger and Garlic Chicken recipe comes from Malcolm Hillier's "Entertaining" (DK Publishing, $29.95). The chicken breasts can be cooked, broiled or grilled the day before your party and refrigerated. Allow them to come to room temperature before serving.

From "House Beautiful Entertaining" (Hearst Books, $30), the Crisp Roasted Salmon recipe can be kept warm under aluminum foil for an hour or so before serving. It's also terrific cold. Wait until last minute to slice.

Caterer Carole Peck conceived the Pasta, Vegetable and Wheat Berry Salad for artichoke pasta but you can substitute any well-crannied, stubby shape. Likewise, feel free to substitute other vegetables if something else at the market looks better. You can cook both the pasta and the wheat berries up to three days ahead if you cool them and then refrigerate them in a tightly sealed container or zip-lock bag (coat the pasta lightly with oil before storing). The salad, from Peck's "The Buffet Book" (Viking, $29.95), can be made up to eight hours ahead.

Flank Steak Roulade

Makes 12 to 14 servings

3/4 cup olive oil, divided

2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

8 cloves garlic, minced and divided

salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

2 (2-pound) flank steaks, butterflied

2 pounds frozen spinach

1 large onion, thinly sliced

1 tablespoon fresh rosemary needles or 1 teaspoon dried

1 cup freshly grated Parmesan

8 ounces oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, drained and minced

To make marinade, combine 1/2 cup of olive oil, balsamic vinegar, half the minced garlic, and salt and pepper to taste. Smear marinade on both surfaces of each flank steak, roll up steaks, wrap in plastic and refrigerate 2 hours.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cook spinach according to package directions. Drain. Squeeze out excess water and set aside. In large pan, saute sliced onion in remaining olive oil over medium heat until it begins to soften. Add rest of garlic and rosemary, season with salt and pepper, and continue to cook for 1 or 2 minutes, until onion begins to color. Do not let it brown.

Add spinach to pan and saute until heated through. Set spinach mixture aside to cool.

Unwrap flank steaks, unroll and season surfaces lightly with salt and pepper. Sprinkle the Parmesan cheese evenly over each steak, making sure to extend to all the edges. Distribute sun-dried tomatoes evenly on each steak, then spread the spinach mixture over tomatoes. Working from an end that is parallel to the butterfly cut, roll up each steak tightly and secure with butcher's twine.

Place roulades in shallow pan and roast 1 hour. Let meat rest at least 20 minutes before cutting into 1-inch slices.

Ginger and Garlic Chicken

Makes 36 servings

6 cups plain yogurt

7 limes (juice and grated zest of 4, plus 3 cut into wedges for garnish)

5-inch piece of fresh ginger, peeled and cut into thirds

1 1/2 tablespoons ground cumin

1 1/2 tablespoons fenugreek (see note)

1 1/2 tablespoons ground turmeric

5 cloves garlic, crushed

1 fresh red chili, seeded and finely chopped

4 shallots, finely chopped

18 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

To make marinade, place all ingredients except chicken and lime wedges in bowl of food processor and blend until smooth.

Place chicken breasts in single layers in large nonmetallic dishes and prick lightly all over with fork. Spoon marinade over chicken. Cover and marinate 2 to 6 hours in refrigerator.

Preheat broiler, or fire up the grill. Remove chicken breasts and shake off as much marinade as possible. Broil or grill chicken about 6 minutes on each side, or until meat is cooked through. Do not overcook. Cut each breast in half on the bias and garnish with lime wedges.

Note: Fenugreek can be found at Indian and Middle Eastern markets.

Crisp Roasted Salmon

Makes 12 to 14 servings

1 3 1/2- to 4-pound salmon fillet, skin on, at room temperature

salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

extra-virgin olive oil

1/2 bunch fresh dill, finely chopped

4 shallots, finely diced

12 fresh thyme sprigs

6 fresh rosemary sprigs

1/2 cup dry vermouth or other dry white wine

Preheat broiler. Sprinkle flesh side of salmon with salt and pepper and rub with olive oil.

Place dill, shallots, thyme and rosemary in shallow roasting pan. Place salmon on top of herbs, skin side up, and pour vermouth around salmon.

Broil salmon 6 inches from heat source for 12 to 15 minutes, until skin is charred and crisp and flesh is cooked through (pierce fish with a sharp knife to check). Flip salmon over on serving platter so that skin side is down, slice and serve.

Pasta, Vegetable and Wheat Berry Salad

Makes 10 to 12 servings

3 cups wheat berries (see note)

2 tablespoons tamari soy sauce

1 1/2 pounds pasta

3 to 4 tablespoons vegetable oil

3 cups fresh corn, cut from cob

1 1/2 pounds sugar snap peas or snow peas

1 1/2 cups imported black olives, pitted

2 pints cherry tomatoes

fresh basil leaves, at least 50, finely shredded

30 chive stalks, finely snipped

VINAIGRETTE:

3/4 cup wine, sherry or balsamic vinegar

1 1/2 cups extra-virgin olive oil

salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

Soak wheat berries in water to cover for about 6 hours. Drain, cover with cold water in 2 1/2-quart saucepan, and bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce heat and simmer 2 hours, until water is gone and wheat berries are tender. Add tamari and let cool.

Meanwhile, cook pasta in boiling salted water according to package instructions until al dente. Drain.

Heat oil in large skillet over high heat. When hot, add corn and saute until it colors and chars slightly; remove to large salad bowl and let cool.

Blanch sugar snap peas or snow peas in boiling, salted water until just tender. Drain, plunge into ice water, and drain again. Combine with corn in bowl. Add olives, tomatoes, basil and chives, and toss.

To make vinaigrette, whisk together vinegar, oil, salt and pepper. Combine pasta and wheat berries in bowl and pour vinaigrette over them. Set aside.

When ready to serve, add pasta and wheat berries to vegetables, toss, and correct the seasonings. Toss again and serve.

Note: Wheat berries are usually available at health food stores.

Pub Date: 7/08/98