ONCE AGAIN, you are completely overreacting," my sister noted. "It's not the end of the world."
Excuse me? There was no overreaction. I was reacting perfectly to the news that I needed "Bifocals. You need bifocals. It's a normal part of aging," she stated from behind the safety of her single-vision lenses.
I would have silenced her with a glare, but I was having trouble focusing on the near, the far, the almost near.
"At least they don't have that little line through the middle," she observed as she squinted directly into my eyes. "No one will know -- once you master being able to walk while wearing them."
I tried to fling a shoe at her, but my depth perception was still off and my Ked plopped into the sink instead.
"Perhaps the problem is you don't have the right bifocal wardrobe. Do you have a turquoise polyester house dress? With snaps, not buttons. And big pockets you can stuff with Kleenex and bobby pins." She was gleeful by now. "And a black silk cord around your neck that holds the glasses so you don't lose them. And a curler on your bangs."
Thanking her for her contributions to my self-esteem, I pointed her in the general direction of the door.
Later, I stood before the bathroom mirror, evaluating my new glasses. They weren't so bad. Maybe I just needed a little makeover to help me through my minor mid-life crisis. A new hair color, a touch of red lipstick. And my bangs -- they need just a little curl. Now where did I put those curlers
Here's squinting at you, Glen Burnie.
Swimming lessons offered
Glen Burnie Park Swim Club is offering swimming lessons for all ages starting Monday and continuing through July 17.
Classes meet twice a week. Level I and II classes are scheduled for 11 a.m. to 11: 40 a.m. Monday and Wednesday or Tuesday and Thursday. Level III classes meet from 11: 45 a.m. to 12: 30 p.m. Monday and Wednesday or Tuesday and Thursday.
Designed for the beginning swimmer, level I and II classes offer such basic skills as floating, breath control and personal safety. Special care will be given to those expressing fear of the water to help them become more comfortable. More advanced students will learn to move through the water unsupported.
Level III classes teach the front and back crawl, elementary backstroke, treading water and initial diving skills. Students must have some deep-water swimming experience and be able to float independently, front and back.
The fee is $40 for swim club members, $45 for nonmembers.
Family and associate memberships in the swim club are still available. Members enjoy access to the main pool with diving board and the baby pool as well as picnic grounds, volleyball courts, horseshoe pits and refreshments. Family and adults-only events are scheduled throughout the summer.
Family memberships begin at $225.
For information on swim lessons or membership registration, call 410-969-5403.
Golf event benefits church
Golfers are invited to tee off for a worthy cause when Holy Trinity Roman Catholic Church hosts a golf tournament at 9 a.m. Monday at the Bay Hills Country Club.
A $75 entry fee includes 18 holes of golf, refreshments and a luncheon catered by Buddy's Crabs and Ribs. Proceeds from the event will benefit the parish center renovations.
A limited number of hole sponsorships are still available for a $100 donation.
For more information, call 410-766-5070.
Outreach center needs help
With many volunteers taking well-earned vacation breaks, the North County Emergency Outreach Network is finding a shortage of help interviewing and assisting prospective clients.
A nonprofit organization on Fifth Avenue in Glen Burnie, the organization provides food, emergency financial assistance and referral information to those who are experiencing financial difficulties.
Volunteer coordinator Peggy Neglia is seeking adult volunteers who can give a few hours a week to ensure continued assistance to the community.
For information on volunteering, call 410-987-2499.
Pub Date: 6/24/98