All right, let's try this Opening Day stuff again, at 3 p.m. on WJZ, Channel 13. And tonight, Wonder Woman goes Quaker, on USA.
"NewsRadio" (8 p.m.-8: 30 p.m., WBAL, Channel 11) -- Bill (Phil Hartman) fights a parking ticket a little too zealously and lands in a psychiatric ward. While there, he meets a kindred spirit, played by fellow "Saturday Night Live" alum Jon Lovitz. NBC.
"The Nanny" (8 p.m.-8: 30 p.m., WJZ, Channel 13) -- Shortly after Maxwell's play walks off with the Tony Award for best play, the tabloids publish a story that has him fooling around with the Woman With the Most Irritating Voice in the World. Max, Max, say it ain't so! CBS.
"Coach" (8: 30 p.m.-9 p.m., WMAR, Channel 2) -- Coach Hayden finds himself at a class for parents, where he's forced to put up with a supremely annoying mother who seems intent on putting him down. Since the annoyer is played by Doria Cook-Nelson, real-life wife of the annoyee, let's hope life doesn't imitate fiction. ABC.
"Temporarily Yours" (8: 30 p.m.-9 p.m., WJZ, Channel 13) -- Deb drags a horrified Joan (Joanna Gleason) onto the subway and then a fisherman's dinghy. Plus, there's a reunion of sorts, as series star Debi Mazar shares the screen with her "Civil Wars" co-star, Peter Onorati. CBS.
"Party of Five" (9 p.m.-10 p.m., WBFF, Channel 45) -- Tonight's season-ender includes a wedding and, for Julia (Neve Campbell), a possible trip to Europe. Good news for the fans: The show's already been renewed for next season. Fox.
"Men Behaving Badly" (9: 30 p.m.-10 p.m., WBAL, Channel 11) -- The ads promise a look at Rob Schneider in drag. Lord, what have we done to deserve such punishment? NBC.
"Law & Order" (10 p.m.-11 p.m., WBAL, Channel 11) -- Back on Wednesday nights, and safely back in NYC, McCoy (Sam Waterston) bends -- if not breaks -- the law to try to get a paroled serial rapist (Burt Young) put back in jail. NBC.
"Feds" (9 p.m.-10 p.m., WJZ, Channel 13) -- There's a mole in the F.B.I. office, and it turns out to be the girlfriend of one of the principals. Not good maybe. CBS.
"Saturday Night Live" (11 a.m.-noon, repeats 3 p.m.-4 p.m., Comedy Central) -- Madonna visits "Wayne's World." A classic.
"The Scarlet Letter" (8 p.m.-10: 15 p.m., Showtime) -- Here's a Demi Moore vanity project in which the worst part wasn't changing Nathaniel Hawthorne's ending, but convincing hard-working people to waste their hard-earned money by buying tickets for or renting this thing. At least here, you won't have to pay extra to see what's really a tragedy for all concerned.
"A Prayer in the Dark" (9 p.m.-11 p.m., USA) -- Lynda Carter's a Quaker bank president whose family is being held hostage by a former charge (his alcoholic father asked the Quaker family to care for him) demanding $4 million. The trick for Lynda and her pals: Get him the money without letting the police know what's going on, because that could get somebody hurt. Director Jerry Ciccoritti keeps things moving at a crackling pace; Carter does a nice job, trying to settle things while struggling to maintain her Quaker commitment to nonviolence; and Colin Ferguson is one nasty psychotic bad guy. But everything works out too conveniently. And I wonder how many people would agree that it's far better to steal $1 million than to shoot a guy threatening to kill a pregnant woman and other innocent folks.
Pub Date: 4/02/97