The return of "ER"? Praise the lord and turn on the TV. Stat!
"High Incident" (8 p.m.-9 p.m., WMAR, Channel 2) -- What to do about illegal aliens is tonight's theme, as a traffic accident reveals an illegal immigrant smuggling ring. Marsh (David Keith) is accused of brutalizing one of them, while Mike and Jesse (Blair Underwood and Lisa Vidal) debate the philosophical side. ABC.
"Friends" (8 p.m.-8: 30 p.m., WBAL, Channel 11) -- Ross (David Schwimmer) wants everybody to attend his black-tie museum benefit, but Monica (Courteney Cox) is busy pining after Richard, who's left a message on her answering machine. NBC.
"Diagnosis Murder" (8 p.m-9 p.m., WJZ, Channel 13) -- Talk about opening the season with a bang. Sloan (Dick Van Dyke) is up against a new and lethal strain of smallpox. CBS.
"Chariots of the Gods? The Mysteries Continue" (9 p.m.-10 p.m., WMAR, Channel 2) -- Writer Erich von Daniken is still trying to convince everyone that aliens visited Earth thousands of years ago, leaving behind all sorts of tantalizing clues. Host Richard Karn ("Home Improvement") explains things to us. ABC.
"Seinfeld" (9 p.m.-9: 30 p.m., WBAL, Channel 11) -- Kramer and Jerry after the same woman? NBC.
"Turning Point" (10 p.m.-11 p.m., WMAR, Channel 2) -- In his first RTC assignment for the show, Hugh Downs takes a look at alternative medicine -- a field that piqued his interest when he had to undergo major knee surgery last year. Why, Downs wonders, do so many doctors take a hard line and insist alternative medicine is little more than quackery. At the same time, the program also looks at some obvious shams. ABC.
"ER" (10 p.m.-11 p.m., WBAL, Channel 11) -- The Emmy-winning ratings juggernaut returns for a third season, as Carter (Noah Wylie) finds his first day as a full-fledged doctor a little more hellish than he'd like, while Benton and Boulet (Eriq La Salle and Gloria Reuben) await the results of their AIDS tests. And a new resident comes on board. NBC.
"Nothing In Common" (6 p.m.-8 p.m.), "The Bonfire of the Vanities" (8 p.m.-10: 05 p.m.) and "Forrest Gump" (10: 05 p.m.-12: 30 a.m., Cinemax) -- Y'know, not everything Tom Hanks touches turns to gold. Here's proof, as tonight's Hanks festival brings us the Good ("Gump"), the Bad ("Vanities") and the indifferent ("Common," with Hanks and Jackie Gleason as a father and son who get on each other's nerves).
"Having a Wild Weekend" (6: 30 p.m.-8 p.m.), "A Hard Day's Night" (9: 05 p.m.-10: 35 p.m., repeats 1: 30 a.m.-3 a.m.) and "Help!" (10: 35 p.m.-12: 15 a.m., repeats 3 a.m.-4: 30 a.m., AMC) -- Welcome to an evening of mop-topped British rockers. Sure, you know all about the Beatles (watch "Night" if you only have time for one film). But remember the Dave Clark Five, big-beat masters (the drummer almost always dominates) responsible for such raves as "Bits and Pieces" and "Glad All Over?"
Pub Date: 9/26/96