On cable tonight, you can watch Michelle Pfeiffer or a guy made of parts from 88 different bodies. You decide.
"Seinfeld" (7: 30 p.m.-8 p.m., WBFF, Channel 45) -- Jerry and Elaine question whether their yogurt is really nonfat, and their investigation helps get Rudolph Giuliani elected mayor of New York.
"Second Noah" (8 p.m.-9 p.m., WMAR, Channel 2) -- Lloyd Bridges is the domineering, interfering grandfather who decides to take young Ricky hunting -- against his parents' wishes. ABC.
"Escape From Terror: The Teresa Stamper Story" (9 p.m.-11 p.m., WBAL, Channel 11) -- Maria Pitillo is an Oklahoma woman fleeing her husband-turned-stalker. Based on an "Unsolved Mysteries" segment. NBC.
"Walker, Texas Ranger" (10 p.m.-11 p.m., WJZ, Channel 13) -- Walker (Chuck Norris) has one of those unfortunate mornings, waking up holding a gun and lying next to a dead body. CBS.
"Saturday Night Live" (11: 30 p.m.-12: 30 a.m., WBAL, Channel 11) -- Multimillionaire presidential loser Steve Forbes is the guest host of this repeat. Sounds funnier than it is. NBC.
"Mr. Stitch" (8 p.m.-10 p.m., Sci-Fi) -- A modern-day Frankenstein's monster (he's even read Mary Shelley's book) comes to life in the whitest room you've ever seen, under the watchful gaze of a floating eyeball and a supercilious doctor played by Rutger Hauer. But the good doctor's creation turns out to have a mind of his own, a conscience and good taste in women, as he casts his lot not with his creator, but a plucky psychiatrist played by Nia Peeples.
"Gotti" (9 p.m.-11 p.m., HBO) -- Armand Assante is the Dapper Don who seems to have loved the spotlight too much for his own good.
"Into the Night" (9 p.m.-11 p.m., TNT) -- Jeff Goldblum becomes bored with his wife, so he drives about aimlessly until some excitement finds him. He ends up being shot at by Arab thugs, leered at by David Bowie and forced to spend the entire night ferrying Michelle Pfeiffer all over town. This 1985 film is not as funny as it thinks it is, but still entertaining. Keep any eye open for cameos from all sorts of famous directors.
Pub Date: 8/17/96