Healthy dose of Roseanne as cover girl for Spin


The best visual one-liner on the newsstands is the May cover of Spin. The top alterna-mag makes fun of itself, its readers and its icons by giving Roseanne the alternative-rock babe treatment: Euro-pale skin, nihilistic mascara, depression-warrior black leather, angry/nauseated expression, PJ Harvey hair (also known as the Grungy Rachel). Inside the magazine, Roseanne becomes Miss World, with holey fish-net stockings and a cheesy, crooked crown.

The Roseanne profile, on the occasion of Spin's "TV Nation" issue, is comprehensive and well-written, suffused with the New Adulation since the New Yorker dubbed Roseanne its new reverse icon and made Roseanne worship better than acceptable. The writer, Celia Farber, notes "how much healthier" we'd be if we'd had more Roseanne-styled reality TV: "My generation, born in the '60s, was bred on TV sitcoms that lacked a single line you could imagine anybody in your family saying."

Roseanne's position as the feminist-nightmare feminist is also affirmed, as she pronounces it acceptable for a woman to engage in a sex act with her boss to get ahead. "And then get to be his boss," she says. "And then fire him."

She also hints at how she'll end her TV series next year, saying Roseanne Conner may follow Roseanne's own path of stand-up comedy, fame and the American Dream: "I can't leave these characters in a place where their hard work never pays off."

Not mellowed as he aged

The April GQ has a piece on Tony Curtis, 70-year-old swinger and street-fighting man. The actor, who appeared in 112 movies, had four wives and six children, buried one son, battled prostate cancer and kicked a superstar-sized drug problem, has not lost his appetite for abrasive living.

With his career already derailed, there's nothing stopping him from offending Hollywood.

If he is ever handed an Oscar for lifetime achievement, he says, he'd turn it away. "I'd say, 'You didn't give me one for "Sweet Smell of Success"; you didn't give me one for "Some Like It Hot." You think that just because you decided to recognize the little Jewboy he's going to come running?' "

He remembers everyone who ever slighted him, refusing to become one of those dignified elder statesmen who escort a lovely wife to prestigious benefits.

The profile, by Tom Junod, beautifully captures Mr. Curtis in all his vinegary, low-class, survivor glory.

Plumbing depths of dumb

Movieline always has plenty of fun at Hollywood's expense. In the May issue, the feisty magazine lists "The 100 Dumbest Things Hollywood's Done Lately," including many mentions of "Showgirls," Joe Eszterhas and "The Scarlet Letter."

Dumb Thing No. 1: "Daphne Zuniga confessed that she wears a pyramid-shaped hat to help her memorize her lines for 'Melrose Place.' "

Dumb Thing No. 24: "Lauren Holly announced, 'I aspire to be Goldie Hawn.' " Dumb Thing No. 99: "Tori Spelling claimed her breasts were real."

Movieline also has a good interview with Nicolas Cage and a Swiftian analysis of Bleak Chic and the movies, called "Prozac Cinema": "I submit that the overwhelmingly despairing, depressing, dingy movies with which innocent moviegoers are being flooded these days have in fact been financed by a secret cabal of pharmaceutical companies," writes Michael Atkinson.

Best directors?

Entertainment Weekly also does the list thing this week, with a compilation of 50 great directors and their 100 best movies.

The collection is sure to provoke. "Rear Window" and "Strangers on a Train" as Alfred Hitchcock's two must-see movies? "Nashville" and "The Player" as Robert Altman's two must-sees?

Pub Date: 4/21/96

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