Hunkering down in front of the TV to watch rattlesnakes take over a town hardly seems like the way to spend Valentine's Day, but maybe USA is onto something.
* "The Drew Carey Show" (8:30 p.m.-9 p.m., WMAR, Channel 2) -- Jamie Lee Curtis shows up as Drew's hairdresser, the woman he turns to when his girlfriend starts dating other people. Not bad for a runner-up. ABC.
* "The Soap Opera Awards" (9 p.m.-11 p.m., WBAL, Channel 11) -- See the best of the soaps, as voted by readers of Soap Opera Digest. NBC.
* "A Brother's Promise: The Dan Jansen Story" (9 p.m.-11 p.m., WJZ, Channel 13) -- Mr. Jansen's story is extraordinary, overcoming the death of his sister and his own repeated failures to capture Olympic gold. I hope the movie lives up to its inspiration.
* "Beauty and the Beast" marathon (9 a.m.-7 p.m., Sci-Fi) -- This series is pretty much what would have happened if the Brothers Grimm had written Harlequin romances. Not for all tastes, but if you liked it, 10 episodes strung back-to-back should make for one heck of a Valentine.
* "Monty Python's Flying Circus" (10:30 a.m.-11 a.m., Comedy Central) -- The boys travel back to the 15th century (sort of), where "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"
* "Casablanca" (3 p.m.-5 p.m., TCM) -- Miss this movie, and you may not regret it now, but you'll regret it soon, and for the rest of your life.
* "Biography" (8 p.m.-9 p.m., A&E;) -- She's been America's sweetheart for more than 50 years, and tonight you'll find out why. Pen and ink have never been more beguiling than when they came together to produce Betty Boop.
* "Tony Bennett: Live by Request" (9 p.m.-11 p.m., repeats 1 a.m.-3 a.m., A&E;) -- Here's your chance to ask one of the country's favorite crooners to sing your favorite love song. But no, he will not honor requests for "Your Love Is Like Nuclear Waste."
* "Rattled" (9 p.m.-11 p.m., USA) -- Ticked-off rattlesnakes take over a community. Oh, my.