Super Bowl Sunday? Steelers vs. Cowboys? Football?
If that pretty much sums up your feelings about the big game, despair not: Appearances to the contrary, TV programmers have not forgotten you today.
* Interested in a real battle royale? A&E; will be featuring our favorite battling Brits, Charles and Diana, in separate two-hour editions of "Biography."
"Charles: The Private Man, the Public Role," airing from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m., is the English documentary in which the prince first admitted that he had been faithful to Diana only "until it became clear that the marriage had irretrievably broken down."
Filmmakers spent 15 months with Charles, beginning with the period immediately after he and his wife separated and including an attempt on his life in Australia.
"Princess Diana's Interview," airing from 8 p.m to 10 p.m., is the full text of the November BBC interview in which she admitted that she, too, had had an affair. This is the first time the full interview has aired in the United States; an earlier ABC special included only excerpts.
And if you haven't had enough battling by the time this is all over, A&E; will crown the evening at 10 p.m. with a broadcast of director George Miller's 1981 film, "The Road Warrior." Mel Gibson stars as a post-apocalypse family man trying to stay alive in a world decidedly off-kilter. The film's about as violent as they come, a two-hour shot of adrenalin.
* Sure, football players get bounced around a lot. But if you want to see people who really take a licking but keep on ticking, tune in to the Discovery Channel's "Super Stunt Sunday."
Beginning at noon today, the rugged at heart can watch nine straight hours of men and women getting banged up -- or, if all goes according to plan, coming perilously close to getting banged up -- for personal or celluloid glory.
The nine hourlong segments begin at noon with "The World's Greatest Stunts: A Tribute to Hollywood Stuntmen." At 1 p.m., "The Ultimate Stuntman: A Tribute to Dar Robinson" airs, followed by the four-part "World's Greatest Stunts."
The evening concludes with three new productions: "Hollywood's Greatest Stunts: Great Balls of Fire: Stunts and Explosions" at 6 p.m., "Hollywood's Greatest Stunts: Come Fly With Me" at 7 p.m. and "Hollywood's Greatest Stunts: Catch a Falling Star: The Art of High Fall" at 8 p.m.
Regrettably, the day's programming will not include any episodes of Lee Majors' love letter to daredevils everywhere, the TV series "The Fall Guy." Drat.
* In a tradition that's becoming almost as anticipated as the game itself, TBS will offer viewers the chance to spend Super Bowl Sunday in Mayberry, thanks to 15 straight episodes of "The Andy Griffith Show."
The fun begins at 1:05 p.m. and will include the top 15 episodes as voted by the Andy Griffith Show Rerun Watcher's Club. The very first episode, "The New Housekeeper," in which Aunt Bee moves in to take care of Andy and Opie, came in 14th, so it will air second. The fan favorite, "Man in a Hurry," will end the evening, beginning at 8:28 p.m. It's the story of a businessman whose car breaks down in Mayberry on a Sunday. Anxious to continue on his trip, he's constantly frustrated by the town's leisurely pace.
The episodes will be shown in their entirety (reruns are normally a few minutes shorter than when they were first shown, to fit in more commercials), and will include the rarely seen epilogues.
TBS' sister channel, TNT, will counter the Super Bowl with seven consecutive episodes of "In the Heat of the Night," which depicts the sort of Southern town that would have forced Sheriff Andy Taylor into early retirement. This marathon begins at 4 p.m.
* One thing the Super Bowl isn't is a fashion showcase. I mean, runway models have been known to wear a shoulder pad or two, maybe even some padding in a few other places, but nothing like what those bad boys of the gridiron will be sporting.
But if you're in desperate need of a fashion fix today -- or if you just like looking at fashion models -- check out E! From 5 p.m. to 11 p.m., "E!'s Supermodel Bowl" will bring you all the high fashion and finely sculpted bodies you can handle.
The fun will include showings of "Secret Lives of the Supermodels," "Beautiful Women" and "Golden Globe Fashion." That last show takes you behind the scenes at last week's Golden Globe Awards, to see who was wearing what. Joan Rivers will be the host (hey, you can't win them all).
Wild Bill Wright
With no players elected to the baseball Hall of Fame this year by the sportswriters, this may be a good time for the shrine's veterans' committee to elect another member of the Negro Leagues.
With that in mind, WCBM's Bob Heironimus will moderate a program tonight on Wild Bill Wright, who hit .361 during his career in the Negro Leagues -- including a league-leading .488 in 1939 -- and may be the next logical candidate for induction to the hall.
Joining Mr. Heironimus will be two former Negro Leaguers, Hall of Famer Monte Irvin and Kansas City Monarchs third baseman Buck O'Neill, both members of the veterans' committee, as well as authors Todd Bolton, Jim Riley and Sean Wheelock.
Also joining the discussion will be Geraldine Day, the widow of Baltimore native Leon Day, the legendary Negro League pitcher who was voted into the Hall of Fame last year.
The show will air from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. on WCBM-AM (680).
Congrats to Arnold J. Kleiner, the former general manager of WMAR (Channel 2), who recently landed the same job at ABC-owned KABC in Los Angeles.