The first words we hear in "Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers" are "Oh my God, don't hurt me."
The plea is sobbed by a woman somewhere back in the shadows. We never see her, we never know what happens to her, but if she's like the rest of us, the movie showed her no mercy.
This is the sixth "Halloween" movie. The 1978 original is held up as the slasher archetype, praised for director John Carpenter's sense of suspense and timing. But at this point in "Halloween" de-evolution, suspense has long since been replaced by gore, ++ and timing now is a matter of zooming in on a head just as it explodes.
There is no plot in "The Curse of Michael Myers"; at least, none beyond the premise that Michael is back and killing whomever he encounters.
The (bloody) hook on which this latest installment is hung is that the one member of Michael's family he hasn't killed -- his niece -- has had a baby, so Michael returns to finish business.
Meanwhile, Michael's hometown of Haddonfield is trying to bounce back from all the dead bodies that have stacked up over the years -- the town is going to celebrate Halloween again.
The movie, as directed by Joe Chappelle, tosses out a few odd snippets of story line, but there is no follow-through.
'Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers'
Starring Donald Pleasence and Marianne Hagan
Directed by Joe Chappelle
Released by Dimension Films
Rated R (graphic violence)