C'mon Brooke, get Andre some clothes


Some News . . . Mostly Views:

With all due respect to Andre Agassi's tennis-playing ability, how can Brooke Shields stand being seen sashaying through the streets of London with a guy who dresses like one of Fagan's street waifs in "Oliver"?

* The Moonbat 64-day, 2,900-mile Trans-America Footrace is now into its 20th day (after one of the competitors leaned and caused a false start), the dozen men and one woman hot-footing it from California to New York's Central Park having bunked in an abandoned cafe in Cisco, Utah, last night. The equivalent of 112 marathons is run in day stages (a la the Tour de France bike race) with the longest trek being a 61-miler through the scenic wheat fields of Kansas. Dave Horton of Lynchburg, Va., a past winner in the JFK 50-miler in Hagerstown and holder of the record for the Maine-to-Georgia Appalachian Trail (52 days, nine hours) is one of the favorites. The winner gets a plaque.

* With Vancouver and Toronto new to the league and the Clippers, Timberwolves and 76ers so bad, hopes are running very high that the Washington Bullets have at least a chance to graduate to the top 80 percent of the NBA class.

* It took awhile, not to mention an additional $10,000, but Don King finally talked unbeaten North American Boxing Federation welterweight champion Derrell Coley of Washington into taking on Oba Carr under the Vincent Pettway vs. Paul Vaden scrap for Pettway's International Boxing Federation junior middleweight crown in Las Vegas Aug. 12. Showtime will have it.

* I still think Chris Wright of the Horse With No Name football team might have got rid of the ball before he and it crossed the plane of the goal line after his punt-return touchdown put his team ahead late in its season-opening loss to B.C.

* Darryl Strawberry pulled a muscle trying to swipe a base in a Single-A Gulf Coast League game while getting in shape? That's just what George Steinbrenner wanted him for, speed on the basepaths.

* When Stefan Edberg, Jim Courier and Michael Chang all depart Wimbledon in straight-set losses in the second round, it becomes apparent that after Pete Sampras and Agassi the top 10 in men's tennis changes more often than the room register of a Holiday Inn.

* The Birmingham Barracudas, who resembled a Division II football team while losing an exhibition game here, 37-0, haven't risen much above 2,000 in season-ticket sales and, for its home opener, game sales have been described as "lagging." So much for a honeymoon.

* The only real growth in volleyball lately has been on the beach, yet arrangements still haven't been hammered out for the best players in the United States, members of the Association of Volleyball Professionals, to compete. Weird.

* Obviously, things are getting better in the Postal Department. A letter mailed June 29 from the USAir Arena in Landover arrived in downtown Baltimore, a distance of about 36 miles, July 5.

* If the daily parimutuel handle jumps ahead a whopping 33 percent, as happened at Pimlico this spring when there were seven fewer racing days than in 1994, why not lop another week off the schedule, run dogs on the infield between thoroughbred races and turn the stakes barn over to roulette wheels?

* Upon learning that Atlanta Olympic organizers have earmarked $100 million for security at next summer's Games, I'm reminded of the 1976 Games in Montreal: A couple of us had our typewriter cases searched as we left the basketball venue.

* It's obvious the mistake the Washington Capitals have made all these years: Staying in one place. The Caps joined the NHL in 1974 along with the Kansas City Scouts. The Scouts did K.C. for two years and Denver for a half-dozen before going largely unnoticed as the New Jersey Devils before becoming competitive and winning the Cup. Maybe the move to downtown Washington will have the same effect for the Capitals. Right.

* Of course Andy Warhol was talking about tennis player Jeff Tarango with his everyone gets 15 minutes in the limelight theory. The chances are very good the act he and his wife put on at Wimbledon will be mentioned in his obituary in about 50 years.

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