1. You must own the Cincinnati Bengals.
2. Book a round-trip flight that originates in Cincinnati. Destination: Baltimore.
3. Pay $734 for a ticket on U.S. Air.
4. Have your office inform the Baltimore media of your estimated time of arrival.
5. Upon your arrival at Baltimore-Washington International Airport, tell the local media that you're "very serious" about moving your team here.
6. Take a limo to Camden Yards where you eat crab cakes and watch an Orioles game from the Maryland Stadium Authority sky box.
7. While admiring Oriole Park, note that you're reluctant to leave a city in which the Bengals were founded by your late dad.
Call the public funding in place to build a $180 million stadium in Baltimore "a tremendous selling point."
9. Return to Cincinnati to a throng of media wanting to know your reaction to Baltimore.
10. Sit back and wait as public officials iron out the details of a stadium-financing plan designed to keep the team in Cincinnati.