Immigrant parents can't always draw from their own childhood experiences to help their children.
But perhaps they can help each other. That's one of the premises behind an Anne Arundel County pilot program aimed at helping Korean parents learn more about being parents in America.
This month about a dozen parents met at Oakwood Elementary School for three 90-minute sessions sponsored by the county school system's Parent Involvement Center.
Over lotus bean cakes and Fig Newtons, they chatted in Korean about their children's grades, friends, study habits. They were eager to know more about the school system because their children didn't always tell them everything.
"Is is true -- no homework on Fridays?" asked one concerned mother.
"Yes, but they do have projects on the weekends," replied Deborah Wetzel, who gave a presentation on study skills.
Parent Involvement Center administrators began the program because they saw a growing Korean student population, but didn't see many of their parents at center programs. The county is home to about 3,000 Koreans, according to the county demographer's office.
"We thought we could reach out to the Korean community and give them support," said Patricia Barton, who runs the Parent Involvement Center based at Oakwood in Glen Burnie. "We have had a Korean parent come to a group but couldn't keep up with the group because of the language."
So Ms. Barton enlisted the help of Jae Hi An, who works for Anne Arundel County public schools and is fluent in Korean. The 27-year-old mother led the sessions, but admits she was at first ++ skeptical about how responsive parents would be.
She wasn't sure if parents would be intimidated by the format: groups of four sitting around tables, brainstorming, jotting down lists on 5-by-7 index cards, sharing their deepest concerns about their children.
To Mrs. An's surprise, the parents opened up.
"If a classmate teases my child about being Chinese, should I go to the teacher or take care of it myself?" asked Deborah Chung, who has a 12-year-old daughter. "I don't know how to take it."
Other parents didn't have any answers. All they could offer was that their children had gone through similar teasing. But for the 49-year-old mother, being able to talk about it was enough.
Other issues for parents included trying to make sure their children learn the language and retain the customs.
When parents evaluated the pilot program last week, they said they wanted to continue meeting and to learn how to get more involved in their schools, such as chaperoning field trips.
An additional meeting has been scheduled for March 7, and Ms. Barton says she hopes to turn the meetings into a monthly discussion group.