CLEARWATER, Fla. -- The first exhibition games are nearly two weeks away, and already Scab Training is a disaster.
"The whole thing," Philadelphia owner Bill Giles said yesterday, "has a chance to get uglier by the day."
The owners never should have perpetrated this sham in the first place. But now the union is doing its best to ensure that innocent people get hurt.
Donald Fehr doesn't care who gets trampled, as long as his players can maintain their alimony and child-support payments, with money left over to install CD players and cell phones in their sports cars.
It's all about principle, you know.
And woe to any minor-leaguer who stands in the way.
In his latest strategic masterstroke, Fehr announced yesterday that the union will consider any player who participates in an exhibition game to be a strikebreaker.
In other words, if you're one of those poor saps stuck in Double-A, you'd better honor a union to which you don't even belong, a union that thinks you're low-rent to begin with.
It's bad enough that the strike is preventing the top minor-leaguers on 40-man rosters from continuing their development.
This latest disgrace leaves marginal players in the middle of a dispute in which they have no vested interest, seeing as how most of them will never reach the majors.
Not that the union cares.
Just gut the entire industry.
"I want the clubs to play replacement games," union counsel Gene Orza said. "I want them to see the failure they are. So get it on, see what a mockery it makes of the game."
Orza probably was being sarcastic, but who can tell? He's so much smarter than the rest of us, it's difficult to interpret his thoughts, except when he's calling people like Bill Usery "senile."
Just don't ask him to spell "settlement," OK?
In any case, the union's thinking is clear -- it wants to make it as difficult as possible for the owners to stage replacement games. If the minor-leaguers are squeezed, too bad.
The Orioles? Three days ago, they said they wouldn't play against scabs. Now, with the union labeling everyone scabs, they probably won't play at all.
"All I can say is, when the time comes, I don't know what the heck I'm going to do," said Brian DuBois, a former Orioles farmhand now under Triple-A contract to the Phillies.
DuBois, 27, said he doesn't want to betray the union, and he might not have to, because Giles plans to give his players the choice. Some clubs -- Cincinnati, for one -- say they will force their minor-leaguers to play.
"I personally would not pressure anybody," Giles said. "[But] there is a clause in their contracts that says they have to play in major-league exhibitions if asked. If they don't do that, they're disqualified."
Disqualified, as in voided.
Disqualified, as in released.
"I don't think I would ever do that," Giles said. "It's kind of senseless to disqualify somebody that you're trying to develop as a major-leaguer."
The whole thing is kind of senseless, and Giles should be ashamed of himself as a member of the Executive Council, but heaven forbid someone take responsibility for this mess.
Like many clubs, the Phillies planned to field teams consisting of both minor-leaguers and replacement players. Now, they're scrambling to find as many scabs as possible, so they can give their minor-leaguers the out.
Yesterday, they signed catcher Joe Cippoloni -- right out of a South Philadelphia pizza parlor, Giles said. "We have enough replacement players," he explained. "Our problem is, some of 'em might have to play nine innings."
Yet, even if the Phillies field an all-scab team -- and they're putting together a beauty, including former Orioles Ken Dixon, Todd Cruz and Jeff Stone -- who's to say the minor-leaguers will be off the hook?
"What happens if someone gets hurt up there and they want to call me up?" DuBois asked, raising a perfectly valid question. "I'd be like, 'uh-oh.' "
Of course, the owners never thought any of this out -- they're making it up as they go along. They might consider dropping the entire replacement plan, but that remains a long shot. The scabs are vital to their bust-the-union strategy.
It's amazing -- everyone in management hates the plan, even hard-line owners like Giles. Yet, the Orioles' Peter Angelos is the only one refusing to participate, and conscientious objectors like Sparky Anderson are few and far between.
Phillies manager Jim Fregosi is staging his own form of protest, showing little interest in his players.
The Toronto Blue Jays are actually holding separate workouts, keeping Cito Gaston and their minor-leaguers at another facility, quaran- tined.
The whole thing is a farce, from the car salesman trying out for the White Sox to the car salesman serving as commissioner. Giles compared the uncertainty to that of an injured player's, calling it "day-to-day."
Baseball is on the DL, all right.
With scabs all over its decaying body.