When a senior at Calvert Hall College High School committed suicide in January, the boys' school was shocked. When another senior took his life this month, the 150-year-old school was stunned.
"You always wonder, could we have saved them? You ask yourself, 'Did I miss something?' " said Patricia Donohue, a Calvert Hall religion teacher and campus minister.
She echoed other faculty and students this week as the Towson campus tried to come to grips with the deaths, and school officials planned programs to help students, faculty and parents.
Steve Lee, 17, shot himself outside his home in Severn before school Jan. 3, according to Calvert Hall's president, Brother Kevin Strong. Christopher Greenwood, 17, who lived in eastern Baltimore County, hanged himself in his attic after school on Feb. 7.
Brother Strong said the school was upended by the two losses. "We loved both of the boys -- they're part of a family that exists here," he said.
Faculty and students said there was little to connect the two suicides. While the boys knew one another, they had different friends and interests. Both were Korean, but Steve Lee was reared in a home where English was a second language while Christopher Greenwood was reared by adoptive American parents.
To most of their 220 classmates and their teachers, Steve and Christopher outwardly were cheerful, pleasant students who displayed no anxieties beyond those common to 17-year-olds.
"I think the teachers are very observant of change in mood," Brother Strong said. But these students "seemed like they were very happy, doing well."
The boys' families declined to be interviewed. But friends and school officials described both as well-liked, active members of a school of 1,100 where no one can recall another death by suicide.
Steve Lee's friends and teachers said he was quiet in class and helpful and humorous outside, although he rarely spoke of his home life and seemed to prefer being at school.
An alto saxophone player who car-pooled from his home in Anne Arundel County so he could play in the school's 116-member band, Steve was the school's head music librarian and a member of the so-called "Radiator Club," a group of seven boys who hung around a particular hallway radiator when they weren't in class.
Club member Brian Cannella, 18, and others said Steve offered help with homework and liked to play air hockey and shop for CDs.
"He'd always go out of his way to make other people feel good, even though some days he didn't feel good himself," said Dan Bachal, a friend of both suicide victims.
Brother Gregory Leonardo, the band director, recalled that Steve always was willing to help younger members with marching and music. "I think each time we have an event, thoughts turn back to Steve not being there," he said, "because the band is a very close-knit group that spends a lot of time together."
One of Steve's friends now sees what could have been warning signs. For example, while Steve frequently visited other band members' homes, he never invited friends to his home. He often stayed at school on half-day afternoons.
A strange salutation
Steve also wrote a strange salutation in Dan's yearbook: "Oh . . . hello . . . goodbye. . . . Steve," and, underneath that, "Salutations from beyond the grave, behind Shepard Pratt."
"You kind of can't help but think he was trying to reach out, but we just didn't see it," Dan said.
Several friends said Steve had been disappointed when he learned that he had not been accepted by the U.S. Naval Academy. He left school for Christmas vacation with his classmates and never returned. On the morning that classes resumed, he shot himself.
Some students were critical of the way that the news of Steve's death was handled.
"With Steve, they announced it over the intercom, then it was like, next class," Brian said, adding that school officials meant well but did not know how students would react.
"They said he died of some kind of wounds or something -- they never mentioned suicide or self-inflicted wounds," added Dan.
However, school officials immediately called in a team of crisis counselors from the archdiocesan Office of Youth Ministry.
"I think the thing we're looking to do is help them be in touch with their feelings, and help them understand . . . it's important to take care of each other and understand that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem," said Mark Pacione, director of the youth ministry office.
Students said the counseling and a prayer service were helpful. Even so, it took two weeks before the campus returned to near normality, said senior Kwok Wong, 18. Then, he said, Christopher Greenwood killed himself, and "it was like the same thing over again . . . another person is gone."
Outgoing and popular, Christopher "had problems like everyone does, like getting into colleges, but he didn't talk about it too much," said Eric Schmidt, 17, a classmate and fellow swim team member.
A music aficionado with an elaborate, hand-built car stereo, Christopher planned to open a business and save enough money to go surfing in Australia, friends said. He also had received a full scholarship to Salisbury State University.
The day before Christopher died, he seemed his usual self, said Dan Bachal, and even inquired about a future blood drive.
"He came into my homeroom and was asking about when he could give blood, so he was already making plans about later in the week," Dan said.
The last morning
Christopher spent the morning of his death with Eric Schmidt, working in the school library on an extracurricular project.
"He said he was having some tough times. He dealt with it all with humor . . . then I saw him at the end of the day and he said he was fine," Eric recalled.
At about 5:45 that afternoon Christopher's mother discovered the youth's body in the attic.
This time, school officials waited until the students were gathered for an assembly, where counselors announced Christopher's death and re-introduced the crisis team from the archdiocese. More than 500 people attended his funeral last Friday.
Ms. Donohue said students and faculty are experiencing anger, grief and even fear that there will be another suicide.
"Clearly, there is a lot of shock," she said. "In a way, it brings them closer. . . . They know they all have problems; they all hurt."
The Catholic Church once considered suicide a mortal sin and would not allow suicides to be buried with the blessings of the church. But Ms. Donohue said the church now allows a Catholic burial.
"Although it's not the answer to the problem, it is not enough to keep us from our God's love," she said.
She said the school will arrange a senior class gathering to help students deal with their classmates' deaths. Later, there will be an all-school workshop and parent and faculty sessions on issues such as teen suicide, depression and communication.
Meanwhile, many students will have to deal with the same emotions as Steve Lee's friend Kwok Wong.
"Sometimes I think about it," Kwok said, "and sometimes it's really upsetting to think that he's gone."