I SPOTTED my almost ancient, spherical chum, Fats Drobnak, lunching alone at Ikaros in Greektown the other day. Fats, my man, I greeted him. Mind if I join you? Why the bemused look?
"Sootcherself. And what was the question again?"
I was inquiring aboaut the source of the preoccupation evident in TC your countenance. Contemplating a few ponies on which you have placed win wagers lately only to see them falter at a critical time?
"Naw. Ain't been to the track for a while. Clara's been givin' me grief about it. But, yeah, some things don't add up.
"Take the stock market. Not that I fool around with it. Got a better shot with the hosses, which ain't no bargain neither. Papers the other day say the out-of-work rate went up three-tenths of a point. Don't sound like much but that's a whole lot of people."
I noticed that statistic.
"Gotta be bad news, right? Sure as hell is to them tryin' to feed their kids with no paycheck all of a sudden. But plenty striped pants guys on Wall Street, they acted like happy days wuz here again. Market jumped outta sight on the up side. Why?"
As I understand it, more unemployment is seen as a welcome indication of cooling in an overheated economy.
"You mean they think things is too good for the average workin' stiff? Let 'em grab an Amtrak down to Bawlmer and check things out here in Hollantown. Sure, most guys is workin' but plenty times the little lady needs a job too to get by."
But why are you troubled? You're retired.
"Don't mean I'm senile. I remember the Depression. A job was everything. When Uncle Cas was hired on at American Can down on Boston at half-a-buck an hour, my ol' man broke out the last bottle of wine. Now the money boys cheer when layoffs climb. 'Nuf to make you throw up."
To be fair, Fats, economists differ on the issue. In the same way, they are split on the president's proposal to increase the minimum wage.
"That's another thing. When I was comin' up a buck bought plenty. But tell me how somebody puttin' in 40 a week and takin' home one-seven-oh less taxes is s'pose to make it today? So the prez tries to punch it up some an' Rash Limbo an' the Grinch go nuts. A whole year's pay for somebody workin' at $4.25 is chump change for the likes of them."
But many contend that the administration's effort to aid the working poor constitutes class warfare. That would rend the social fabric, would it not? "What's clothes got to do with it? All I'm sayin' is somebody works full time he or she's entitled to have the what-with to eat decent and pay the rent."
As I initally surmised, Fats, complicated matters depress you. So, it's with trepidation that I mention the baseball strike. Any quick thoughts? "Quick? That's a laugh. Been out since August, right? The prez took a shot at ending it but Dole and 'em said Congress couldn't be bothered. Busy with National Cranberry Week, smoothin' their hair for the TV cameras and the like."
Is that fair commentary? If they meddle here, where is it likely to end? "Sm'body awreddy meddled. Back in the '20s, it was the S'preme Court who 'zempted the owners from anti-trust. That lets 'em play hard ball today. Take Camden Yards, the new Cleveland ballpark, and so on. Did the cash come from the owners or was it from the lott'ry? 'Fraid the young fella in the White House might get some credit, that's the real story."
Again you betray your anti-GOP bias, it seems.
"Wrong. Jim Bunning had it right and he's a Republcan."
You mean the right hander of the Tigers and Phils in the '50s who is now a Kentucky congressman?
"The same. One of just a couple throwers to win 100 in each major. Gaylord Perry was another but he used a spitter and coulda been a Democrat for all I know. Bunning said he worked 27 years for owners and never saw a greedier bunch. Leave out Angelos. Told the Grinch where to get off and that took guts."
So be it. Hey, Zino, bring my friend here some baklava; maybe it will sweeten his disposition. Spring's on the way, Fats. Cheer up.
Milton Bates writes from Baltimore.