Meeting of the O.J. Simpson trial-watchers support group:
Facilitator: "I think when we left off last time, Lynne was saying she hadn't cooked for her family in two weeks, and now spends most of her time in a dark room with her hair in curlers, clicking between Court TV and CNN. Lynne?"
Lynne (rising): "Sometimes, I feel so . . ."
All: "Hi, Lynne!"
Lynn (startled smile): "Oh . . . hi. It's just so hard. Like I was telling my mother how the police botched the murder scene, how they used Nicole's phone before it was dusted for prints, failed to press the re-dial button to establish the last call, that kind of thing. And Mom said: 'Lynne, you're too into this.' "
(Low murmur of sympathy.)
Facilitator: "How did that make you feel?"
Lynne: "Horrible. She told me to get a life."
Facilitator: "Group?"
All (chant): "IT'S JUST ANOTHER TRIAL! IT'S JUST ANOTHER TRIAL!"
TC Facilitator: "Jeanette? Comment?"
All: "Hi, Jeanette!"
Jeanette: "It's like what happened with my husband, Buddy. Today at breakfast I was talking about the evolution of Marcia Clark's hair, how it had gone from a regular perm to a tight curl and then to a more relaxed look."
Facilitator: "And what did Buddy say?"
Jeanette: "Buddy said . . . "
(Pauses. Chokes back sob.)
Facilitator (gently): "Go ahead, honey."
Jeanette: "Buddy said, 'I don't give a rat's behind.'"
(Gasps are heard. Someone hands Jeanette a Kleenex.)
Robert: "You know how Judge Ito holds his right hand under his chin when he's in a contemplative mood? And his left hand's under his chin during the sidebars?"
(Nods of assent.)
Robert: "Well, we were in the cafeteria at work and I was telling this to a young fella, sorta looks like Christopher Darden. And the guy rolled his eyes and just . . . just picked up his tray and went and sat at another table!" All: "No-o-o!"
Robert: "I felt so empty inside. Another time I was telling my supervisor about DNA fingerprinting, how it can determine likely innocence but can only establish a probability of guilt. And he was like: "Will you get away from me!"
Facilitator: "There is no growth without pain."
Andre (agitated): "Johnnie Cochran's first wife was Barbara Barry! Mezzaluna is exactly three blocks from Nicole's condo at 875 South Bundy! Kato Kaelin is 35 and recently . . ."
Facilitator: "Andre, please!"
Andre: ". . . was a guest host on the cable TV show 'Talk Soup!' A half-melted cup of Ben and Jerry's ice cream was found on the banister at . . ."
Facilitator: "Andre! PLEASE!"
Andre: " . . . Nicole's condo at 12:40 a.m. by Officer Robert Riske! Oh, God, I can't stop! I CAN'T STOP!"
(Group members leave their folding chairs and hug Andre, who whimpers softly.)
Facilitator: "Group?"
All: "IT'S JUST ANOTHER TRIAL! IT'S JUST ANOTHER TRIAL!"
Facilitator: "Andre?"
Andre (weeping): "It's . . . just another trial."
Patricia: "This is how bad I am. That prosecutor, William Hodgman? The one who they thought had a heart attack? They said on TV that he'll remain the case manager for the trial and I . . . I ran around the house screaming 'HE'S BACK! HE'S BACK!' "
Robert: "Hodgman joined the DA's office in '78."
Andre: "Who doesn't know that?"
Patricia: "You must think we're stupid."
Robert: "Robert Shapiro represented Johnny Carson for drunk-driving once. And he got Christian Brando off with only 10 years for killing his half-sister's boyfriend."
Patricia (yawns): "Will somebody please tell me something I don't already know?"
Facilitator: "Well, I see our time is almost up. Claire says she's taken to locking her 3-year-old in the vise in her husband's workshop so she can watch the trial in peace. But we'll save that for next week. Let's all hold hands and say it, shall we?"
All: "IT'S JUST ANOTHER TRIAL! IT'S JUST ANOTHER TRIAL!"
(Coffee and doughnuts are served.)