LOS ANGELES -- The question before us today, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is whether Judge Lance A. Ito is goofy.
I mean no disrespect.
I would never be disrespectful to a guy who could throw me out of his courtroom on a moment's notice.
But let me project on the overhead screen three actual sections from the O. J. Simpson trial transcript that will prove my point.
The first is in exchange between Judge Ito and prosecutor Cheri Lewis, who was explaining how she intended to call nine witnesses from Bloomingdale's department store.
Judge Ito: The Bloomingbird's witnesses?
Ms. Lewis: Blooming-dale's.
Judge Ito: Robert Redford refers to it as Bloomingbird's.
Ms. Lewis: (disconcerted) OK.
And, indeed, in the movie "The Electric Horseman," Robert Redford, playing an aging rodeo star, and Jane Fonda, playing a TV newswoman, have an exchange in which Redford mocks her for having boots (I think) from "Bloomingbird's."
But tell me, ladies and gentlemen, another judge in the nation who would interject that during a murder trial!
For my second example, I take the day on which lead defense attorney Johnnie Cochran kept referring to one of his expert witnesses as having won the "Nobel Peace Prize."
Ito interrupted him.
Judge Ito: I don't think he won the Peace prize. I think that was. . . .
Mr. Cochran: You know, Judge, I said that. I'm going to make that clear. The Nobel Prize for Chemistry. I had Dr. King on the mind yesterday when I was saying that, who did win the Nobel Peace Prize.
Judge Ito: Linus Pauling won both. Never mind. Never mind.
Mr. Cochran: Now, you would know those facts, too. I'm not surprised, Judge. . . . I will let you know if we put him on our [witness] list. Judge, I'll let you know.
Judge Ito: If he appears, I will be amazed.
Why would Judge Ito be amazed? Because Linus Pauling, who won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry in 1954 and the Nobel Peace Prize in 1962, died Aug. 19, 1994.
And Ito knew it!
Here is another exchange, when Cochran was heatedly trying to get evidence introduced that the prosecution objected to.
Mr. Cochran: You know, there was a recent movie, Your Honor, there is a line which I think is very appropriate in this case -- I think it was "A Few Good Men" -- we keep hearing about the truth. 'I don't think they can stand the truth.' That is what Jack Nicholson said.
Judge Ito: Wasn't he the bad guy?
Mr. Cochran: (disconcerted) Hum? The bad guys say something worthwhile sometimes, Your Honor.
So is Judge Ito a pistol or what? This is a guy who knows everything and doesn't mind if you know that he knows it.
And I want to tell you, ladies and gentleman, that I love this guy.
He is unique. He is knowledgeable. He is fair. He is diligent.
But that does not mean he isn't goofy.
Take his dealings with the media.
Take the recent brouhaha when Court TV inadvertently televised the face of an alternate juror for eight-tenths of a second.
Ito went bonkers and threatened to pull the plug on TV for the rest of the trial.
But why?
Because a mad bomber could have seen the face of the alternate juror, you say, and tracked her down after she was done being sequestered?
But the trial is open to the public every day!
Mad bombers can just go into court and sit down!
OK, so maybe the media could have seen her face and tracked down her family for interviews.
But the media is in court every day!
We sit and stare at the jurors hour after hour.
So who was hurt? I don't know. But that is because I am not a judge.
In any event, Judge Ito let TV remain. Perhaps, so his vast knowledge of movies and Nobel Prize winners would have a worldwide audience.
I will conclude, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, with a quotation from Judge Ito, made before he was assigned the O. J. Simpson trial. He was asked if he would be interested in handling the matter.
"I think you would have to be crazy," Judge Ito said.
I rest my case.