ROCKVILLE CENTRE, N.Y. -- The attendance secretary of South Side High School in Rockville Centre accepted the following absentee note. Wouldn't you?
"Please excuse the absence of my daughter. She has beesuffering from a severe head cold.
"Since she has been home she has consumed 18 doughnuts, 3 quart containers of orange juice, a half-gallon of cranberry juice, 4 two-liter bottles of Diet Coke, about 30 Pop-Tarts and all of the family's Christmas candy canes.
"MTV has been blasting incessantly. I had to extend my credit with Nynex due to the volume of her telephone calls. The house is knee-deep in used Kleenex.
"Today, Fedex delivered seven Chia Pets and four boxes containing the Clapper she ordered from the Home Shopping Channel.
"With the thermostat set at 78 degrees I need an extra fuel xTC delivery, and the wallpaper has peeled off the bathroom wall as a result of her hourly 'therapeutic' sauna baths. Our cat is in a state of shock from being repeatedly bombarded with Hall's mentholated cough drops.
"Although she is not exactly 100 percent yet, she will attend school today. Please do not send her home unless she lapses into a coma. I need a break."