It is time to make this interesting political year even more interesting. It is time to create the 51st state -- Central Maryland.
Our newest state would consist of Baltimore City and Montgomery and Prince George's counties, plus interstate 95 between P.G. County and the city to connect it all. Don't laugh. After all, a congressional district in North Carolina is only as wide, in certain areas, as the interstate that cuts through it.
Actually, this separation is long overdue. Central Maryland has precious little in common with Maryland. Generally, Central Marylanders are much more liberal than Marylanders, and unfortunately, through sheer weight of numbers, they are able to force their values on us. Most recently, they forced their governor on us. You see, the political pundits are wrong when they say the voters failed to issue a mandate in the gubernatorial election. Two mandates came out of the election: Central Maryland's mandate to Parris N. Glendening, and Maryland's mandate to Ellen R. Sauerbrey.
There is certainly a precedent for creating a new state out of an old one. When the folks in western Virginia felt that the government in Richmond no longer represented their will, a movement arose to form a new state. Thus, West Virginia was born during the midst of the Civil War.
No doubt the people of Central Maryland would be quite happy to jettison us yokels in the hinterlands beyond the Beltways. Their legislature could spend all kinds of state money for mass transit and a new home for the Rams or Buccaneers or . . . (fill in the blank) with nary a peep of opposition.
They could concoct all kinds of restrictive gun laws without any dissension from legislators who represent districts with more guns than people, but with less violent crime in a year than Central Maryland would ring up on a good weekend. They could experiment with outcomes-based education in one big school district so that the annual fight over educational dollars would be eliminated. They could regulate farmers with nary an ounce of outcry because there would be precious few farmers in Central to put up a fuss.
Central Maryland would keep its present five congressional districts, consisting of the 3rd, 4th, 5th, 7th and 8th. It also would keep the current U.S. senators. This would be philosophically consistent, as the new Central Maryland would be quite liberal and appropriately represented by Senators Sarbanes and Mikulski. It also would be a practical matter, because it is highly unlikely that either senator could locate Maryland's three western counties on a map.
The only possible problems seem rather minor. There may be a fight between the two jurisdictions over the name Maryland. After all, Central Maryland is just a suggestion. "The Beltway State" would make for a nice nickname. Then too, there might be fTC some infighting as to whether Baltimore, Rockville or Takoma Park ought to be the new state's capital, but, then, that's their problem, and having to deal with their problems is what started the split in the first place.
Yes, it is time to ask Congress to separate Central Maryland from Maryland. It would make Parris Glendening happy. It would make Ellen Sauerbrey happy. And it would make the people who live in the two states we now call Maryland happy. If there is any politician out there who doubts this, then I personally issue this challenge: Let's put it to a vote and find out.
Austin E. Gisriel jr. is a freelance writer in Williamsport.