Father time
Cris Dishman of the Houston Oilers was a bleary-eyed father for yesterday's game against the Kansas City Chiefs.
The veteran cornerback was at the Oilers' hotel in Kansas City a few minutes before midnight Saturday when Karen Dishman called from Houston to say she was going into labor.
The Oilers, who got into a controversy last season when offensive lineman David Williams missed a game to be with his wife when she went into labor, quickly lined up a charter flight to Houston because there were no commercial flights that late.
Dishman left Kansas City at 2:30 a.m. and arrived at Women's Hospital in Houston by the time Cris Jr. arrived at 7:12 a.m. He got back to Kansas City 90 minutes before the 3 p.m. kickoff.
"I got through it mentally but it was tough physically," Dishman said after the Chiefs won, 31-9, to extend Houston's 11-game skid. "There are so many feelings going through your head. I was scared, excited, hoping the baby was going to be all right."
Fox's Johnson ends the hype
After one week and 47 minutes of hype, Jimmy Johnson said yesterday what virtually everybody expected him to say: He has no plans to coach next season in the NFL. Johnson said he would remain as a studio commentator for "Fox NFL Sunday" and HBO's "Inside the NFL."
During the Fox pre-game show from Los Angeles, Johnson said a "couple" of teams offered him control of football operations. He did not identify them, although published reports said he had had discussions with Philadelphia, Tampa Bay and the Los Angeles Rams.
"I would be making more money than I ever imagined," Johnson said. "In fact, I would be the highest-paid coach in all of professional sports."
Johnson said he was "99 percent sure" before this season that he would return to coaching in 1995. Instead, he signed a three-year contract with Fox because "I really love what I'm doing now." Federal authorities are investigating a 1991 autograph signing by Joe Montana as part of a continuing tax-fraud probe of the sports autograph business, the New York Daily News has learned.
The signing took place in a San Francisco hotel room and was arranged by Michael Bertolini, a promoter who has pleaded guilty to tax fraud in a case that implicates some of baseball's biggest names. A New Jersey sports memorabilia dealer told the Daily News he paid Bertolini $75,000 in cash to have the future Hall of Fame quarterback sign 1,000 footballs.
Said Montana's attorney, Rob Mezetti Jr.: "If there was some cash that exchanged hands, Montana declared it."
In the stands
The Seattle Seahawks-Los Angeles Raiders game was interrupted during a fourth-quarter timeout when someone in the Kingdome stands triggered a remote-control car. The car ran in circles and was ignored for a time by officials. Seahawks officials on the sidelines chased the vehicle before finally surrounding and picking up the car. A sheriff's deputy then took it out of the building. . . . The Bears-Rams game at Chicago's Soldier Field had 10,668 no-shows. It was 34 degrees at kickoff.
Farewell, Milwaukee
In closing out their 61-year stay in Milwaukee, the Green Bay Packers finished 107-63-1, including a 27-0 victory over the New York Giants in the NFL title game in 1939.
The Packers also played 56 preseason games in Milwaukee, a city of 1.6 million that is 120 miles south of Green Bay, which has a population of 96,000.
Return memories
Four of the six longest punt returns for touchdowns against the Miami Dolphins have been recorded by Colts, including one when the franchise was in Baltimore. Dewell Brewer's 75-yard return in the first quarter yesterday was the fourth-longest against Miami and the fourth-longest by the Colts.