PHILADELPHIA -- This was the ending Philly wanted. One last fourth-quarter collapse, one last wasted opportunity, one last pathetic episode of the worst soap opera in pro football.
Now, the fans can be sure that the Richie-and-Randall Show will end in proper Roman fashion -- with the coach fired, the quarterback traded and the entire team thrown to the lions.
Richie, the coach, was labeled "Kotite the Idiot" by one pointed banner yesterday. Randall, the benched quarterback, was advised, "Don't let the door hit you in the ---!" by another.
The New York Giants' strategy was to take an early lead and turn the hometown fans against the Eagles. Instead, the team with the worst offense in the NFL went one better.
The Giants rallied from a 10-point, second-half deficit, gave the Eagles a last-second chance to tie, then left the field laughing when Eddie Murray missed a 44-yard field-goal attempt as time expired.
Of course, everyone thought the Giants had secured their 16-13 victory two plays earlier. Heck, the field was overrun by cameramen, reporters, officials -- everyone but the Stanford band.
Alas, the officials put two seconds back on the clock -- something about the Giants not allowing the Eagles to line up for another play -- and then Murray returned Philly to its familiar state of misery.
What more could one ask from a sporting event?
The Giants are alive.
The Eagles are dead.
And Eddie Murray -- no, not that Eddie Murray -- was unavailable for comment.
The Giants (8-7) remained in the wild-card hunt the old-fashioned way, winning their fifth straight game after losing seven straight. NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue should be proud.
The Eagles (7-8) were eliminated from playoff contention with their sixth straight defeat, evoking comparisons to the '64 Phillies, the kingpins in a grand tradition of Philadelphia chokers.
As yet another Veterans Stadium banner put it, "Lets See What Your Made Of." It was classic Philly -- two grammatical errors, and one macho challenge.
The NFL's dumbest team responded in kind, committing 11 penalties for 98 yards and blowing a seven-point lead with two turnovers in the final eight minutes.
Cunningham was benched after throwing fourth-quarter interceptions in each of the Eagles' past three games. Surely, he was amused when Bubby Brister pulled the same stunt with 7:36 left.
The Giants rallied for the tying touchdown, and that was only the start. Jeff Sydner fumbled the ensuing kickoff, and Brad Daluiso kicked an 18-yard field goal to give the Giants their only lead with 54 seconds left.
The persecuted Cunningham,
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naturally, found a soul mate in Sydner. Cunningham supposedly is heading to Arizona to reunite with Buddy Ryan. Kotite is rumored to be going to the Carolina Panthers, which would be even more of a joke.
"One thing we know and everyone knows -- we win as a team, and lose as a team," Cunningham said. "I'm not just talking about me. There will be a lot of things brought up about Jeff. But it's not just one person's fault."
Of course not, but Cunningham asked for this -- the benching, the abuse, all of it. One end-zone banner said, "We Want Randall." It was hardly a majority opinion.
The banner right next to it read, "Hey, Randall, Go Punt in the AFC." The fans chanted, "Bubby! Bubby!" reminding Cunningham of the days when the crowd responded to him the same way.
Cunningham said it was the toughest week of his 10-year career. He spent part of it trashing Kotite on his TV show with help from guard Antone Davis, another benched Eagle. And he cleaned out his locker Wednesday, a symbol
that wasn't lost on anyone.
One Eagle who requested anonymity called Cunningham "a cancer." Brister only added to the circus atmosphere, vowing that no one would hold hands in his huddle, the way the Eagles do with you-know-who.
Eventually, Cunningham apologized to all of Philadelphia in true '90s style -- by calling the city's all-sports talk radio station. Yesterday, he said, "I'm all positive -- for the rest of the year, the rest of my career."
Kotite, meanwhile, lamented the Eagles' collapse, rather than offer his resignation. Actually, Kotite had a good day. Jimmy Johnson didn't take his job. Neither did Dick Vermeil, whom the Eagles honored at halftime.
Whatever, the day is coming soon. The Giants gave the Eagles mouth-to-mouth resuscitation in the final seconds, but the atmosphere at the Roman Coliseum -- er, the Vet -- was already poisoned.
The next step belongs to owner Jeffrey Lurie. When in Rome, do as Romans do. When in Philly, fire the coach, trade the quarterback, throw the entire team to the lions.