News item: A Long Island man is arrested for stealing his neighbor's lawn. The thief is caught swiping chunks of sod from a newly planted yard, under cover of darkness, and wheeling it home in a shopping cart.
News item: A gardening dispute between two Rhode Islanders ends tragically with the shotgun death of one man. The neighbors had bickered over the appropriate height of a 6-foot-high hedge dividing their land. One man wanted the shrubs trimmed back; the other wanted them left alone. The conflict escalated until July, when police found the victim draped over the hedge, dead, his pruning shears nearby.
The world's gone mad, and gardeners -- sad to say -- lead the pack, says Bill Adler Jr. in his new book, "Outwitting the Neighbors" (Adler & Robin Books Inc.), a guide to coexisting with the ornery folks on your block.
Many homeowners today are stubborn, selfish and short-tempered with the folks next door, says Adler. So skirmishes with neighbors abound -- including squabbles over the landscape. Families wage war over weeds, leaves and the limbs of dead trees.
"A lot of people don't have much yard space, and the garden is their oasis. Anything that interferes is an intrusion," says Adler.
Dogs, baseballs and children -- Keep Out.
Such invasions are rarely met with diplomacy and common sense, he says. Some homeowners see a small problem -- a neighbor's car parked on the edge of their gorgeous lawn -- and push the panic button, creating havoc in the community. Whole yards can become battle zones, tire tracks and all. "Without communication, war can break out in less than half a day," says Adler.
Some homeowners who feel threatened by their neighbors' activities may take a different tact: They quietly seek revenge. The author tells of a Midwesterner with an unkempt yard who caught a neighbor trespassing on his property at midnight. The fellow was spraying herbicides on the first man's weedy lawn. In retaliation, the man placed a large box fan on his lawn and blew all of his dandelion seeds next door.
Adler cites many examples of disgruntled homeowners getting even with thoughtless neighbors. When the new folks on the block gave her favorite forsythia bushes a crew cut, nearly destroying the row of large shrubs between their homes, a gardener responded by placing a ghoulish Halloween mask in a window facing the unrepentant newcomers' home. They got the picture.
"Too often, fanaticism breeds fanaticism," says Adler. "The trouble is, nobody talks to their neighbors to keep problems from festering."
They do talk to their lawyers, however. An argument over who was responsible for cleaning up the nuts beneath a large pecan tree wound up in court after both parties engaged in some pretty juvenile behavior -- including soaking each other with a garden hose. The worst offender was fined $470, given two years'
probation and sentenced to 10 days' hard labor on a California tree farm.
Taking a neighbor to court isn't the best solution, says Adler. Judicial decisions can be whimsical. A New Yorker who sued for $1,500 for damages to his patio caused by the roots of a neighbor's tree was admonished by the judge, who said the man should have seen the roots coming.
"These [garden squabbles] are not issues that local governments care deeply about," says Adler. "Some gardening problems are unresolvable. There are not always Solomon-like solutions.
"Sometimes we must put up with things we don't like about our neighbors."
If a problem arises, he says, confront the neighbor immediately. Offer to split the cost of moving a tree that he just planted 1 foot from your roses. Alert him before you do any work on shrubs or trees near your boundary line.
If civility fails, it's OK to complain or even write him a letter. (Keep a copy for yourself.) But don't threaten a neighbor. "Threatening never, never helps," says Adler.
"Also, before you complain to a neighbor, find out what he does for a living. Make sure he's not into organized crime. Those people have to live somewhere."
Many issues can be resolved with a little give-and-take, says the author. Residents of Adler's own neighborhood in Washington, D.C., disagreed over a pest-management plan for their community garden. One group wanted to use chemicals; another voted for praying mantises.
Ultimately, says Adler, they agreed on "a lesser insect that wasn't as scary-looking" -- the ladybug.
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