OK, so his personal life is far from perfect. Whose is?
But in his comedy writing, Woody Allen often seems flawless. His direction of comedy can be inspired. And as a comedic actor, for most roles, you couldn't go wrong.
Allen has never been better in all three departments than he is tomorrow night in an ABC made-for-TV movie version of his hit play, "Don't Drink the Water."
The 1966 play, which became a feature film starring Jackie Gleason two years later, is one of the truly memorable comedies of the 1960s. As gifted as Gleason could be, you ain't seen nothin' till you've seen Allen in the lead role as Walter Hollander, the suburban New Jersey caterer who, in one unlucky moment while visiting be hind the Iron Curtain with his family, gets mistaken for a spy. To avoid capture by Communist police, Hollander -- along with his wife, Marion (Julie Kavner), and daughter, Susan (Mayim Bialik) -- seeks asylum in a U.S. embassy populated by Cold War lunatics.
The one-liners and jokes, especially in the opening 20 minutes of this ABC version, might set a record for gags delivered in the shortest time in a made-for-TV movie.
"With my eyesight, how could I be a spy?" Walter demands of the ambassador's bumbling son, Axel Magee (Michael J. Fox), who has been left in charge of the embassy.
"First no movie on the plane, and now this," complains Marion to anyone within earshot.
And these are just the throwaway lines -- the small asides to the chaos, panic and hilarity that explodes as Diplomatic America takes on Suburban America. and is nearly toppled by it.
If the deeply committed suburban family is astonishingly resilient, so is this remake, with a near-perfect performance by Bialik. In this version, Allen has made Susan Hollander brainier and far more interesting than in the original, and Bialik is so good, she almost stops the show.
Many of the very best things, though, are those wrought by Allen.
By keeping the camera constantly in motion, his direction energizes and underscores the madcap feel of the situation in the embassy.
Many of Allen's cohorts from feature film have crossed over to television for in this remake. Robert Greenhut is the producer, Edward Herrmann plays the ultimate State Department WASP, with Josef Sommer as the politically ambitious ambassador who leaves for Washington before the Hollanders arrive and threaten to rewrite East-West relations.
But, most of all, there is Allen, who has a unique eye and ear for the pompous, the lunatic and the just-plain-strange behavior in all of us.
Some reviewers will say this version of "Don't Drink the Water" doesn't work as well in post-Cold War America, when the Iron Curtain was real and scary. I say that's more baby-boomer, everything-was-better-in-the-'60s myopia. ABC's version is much funnier than the film.
Tomorrow night, don't drink the water. But do pop some popcorn and make sure you catch this remake -- the made-for-TV remake of the year.