Steve Quaranta always will remember the Baltimore Bays' home opener last month at Du Burns Arena. The Highlandtown native recorded a hat trick that cool November night, much to the delight of the near sellout crowd.
Then he went home and cried, the tears triggered by the sight of an empty seat in the stands.
"We started the season on the road and that wasn't too bad, but when I stepped on the field for the first home game, it was really tough," said Quaranta, who took a leave of absence from the Bays last season to care for his father Thomas Sr., who was diagnosed with lung cancer last fall. He died March 11 at the age of 57.
"I looked up where my father used to sit and he wasn't there, but I could feel his spirit with me," said Quaranta, 30. "Seeing my family in the stands and not having him there was difficult, but once the game started, I was at ease with myself.
"After each goal I scored, I stopped, dropped to one knee and blew a kiss to the sky for him to let him know he was there with me. It was an exciting game and most of the guys went out for a drink afterward, but I went home and broke down to my wife [Lori]. It was an emotional experience."
One month after learning that his father had cancer, Quaranta found out that his wife was pregnant with twins.
"It was really an emotional tug for me," said Quaranta, a 1982 graduate of Archbishop Curley. "I had a lot of things going on that should have been happy, but with him being sick, it was hard to smile.
"I guess I was a little negligent with my wife during her pregnancy because I was spending so much time with my father, but she fully understood and supported me throughout ++ the whole ordeal."
Quaranta's father, who coached Steve and his brother Thomas Jr. throughout their childhood on the now-defunct Pompei Soccer Club, had wanted to live at least long enough to see his twin grandchildren, but the Quaranta twins -- Alexa and Preslie -- were born on the day he was buried.
"It was really an emotional time, as you can imagine," Quaranta said. "I was experiencing the highest of highs and lowest of lows."
Time and the support of family, friends and his teammates have helped heal some of the wounds and Quaranta is back doing what he knows his father would have wanted -- playing soccer.
"After he passed away, I pretty much gave up the game," he said. "I talked to Kevin [Healey, Bays coach] shortly after he died and we talked about playing outdoors and initially I said yes, but I had no desire to train or play soccer. The first six months after he died were the toughest. I didn't do a thing and I gained 20 pounds."
Quaranta's friends tried to persuade him to start playing again, but it wasn't until he bumped into Healey at a youth soccer game that he seriously considered rejoining the Bays.
"I had no desire to play, but I knew my dad wouldn't want that," he said. "He lived for the sport. It was a way of life, and I know he would want me to play and try to enjoy the game."
After doing some soul searching, Quaranta ran his way into shape and joined the Bays at the start of the indoor season. In six games -- four wins and two losses -- he has three goals and two assists and he was named the U.S. Interregional Soccer League's Offensive Player of the Week for his performance in Baltimore's 14-5 home-opening win over Reading.
"He's been more of an opportunist this season," said Healey. "He's been a good team player and he's doing the easy things off the ball with his movement."
Quaranta probably has lost a step or two since his days at Curley and at Essex Community College, where he earned All-America honors. But he says he is playing with renewed fervor.
"I feel really good right now. I feel better playing soccer now than I have in years, both physically and mentally," said Quaranta, a first-round draft pick of the Baltimore Blast in 1982.
"Right now, I don't know if I'm playing more on emotion, but I'm playing more with a purpose now. It might sound strange, but even though my dad is gone, he is still with me. Anything I do from here on out on the soccer field, I want to make sure I stop and remember him."
BAYS TONIGHT
Opponent: Jersey Dragons
Site: Du Burns Arena
Time: 8:05
Outlook: The Bays (4-2) finally managed to win back-to-back games and their 15-5 victory over the Connecticut Wolves last Friday kept Baltimore atop of the USISL's North-South Division, one game ahead of the Orlando Lions (3-1). Eric Riedlbauer, who had a hat trick in the win over the Wolves, continues to close in on Baltimore scoring leaders Billy Ronson (four goals, 13 assists) and Mark Mettrick (seven, six). Ronson leads the league in assists and is tied for third in total points with 21. Bays goalie Brian Hartlove ranks second in the USISL with a 4.86 goals-against average.