Here's another slim volume to add to the others -- "Labor Negotiators We Love," "Wise P.R. moves by Thurman Thomas" and "Glory Days of the L.A. Clippers" -- in your Slim Volume Sports Collection:
"People Surprised by Stories of Joe Montana's Retirement."
Last week, the New York Daily News cited "sources" who claimed Montana would retire after the season. Montana angrily denied the report. It was as predictable a December development as Jimmy Stewart's angel getting his wings.
Here were the only conclusive words on the subject. "Until you hear it from me," Montana said, "I wouldn't worry about it."
Anyone who has dealt with Montana knows he wasn't one of the "sources." Not only isn't Montana exchanging confidences with reporters, but also it's unlikely he has said definitively to anybody -- himself included -- "I will retire."
That doesn't mean he won't. "Sources" have plenty of reason to speculate. Joe's not having a great year. His team may not make the playoffs. Joe will be 39 next season. Joe said last spring that he considered retiring after last season.
When I asked him in April how long he would play, he said: "One, maybe two years. I'd like to finish my contract, but I don't know."
It's possible even his wife, Jennifer, doesn't know for sure if he'll retire. She didn't last season. She watched the ebb and flow of his emotions after the loss in the AFC Championship Game, trying to chart the waters. Retirement was discussed. But it wasn't until he started working out that she knew the issue was settled for another season.
It wasn't an easy decision because of the concussion suffered against Buffalo, which upset everybody -- especially Montana's father. After the loss, the Montanas talked to Sugar Ray Leonard, who said:
"I used to look in the mirror and see my face all cut up and be in such pain and think, 'That's it. I'm retiring,' Then a few months later I'd look at my face and it wasn't a problem anymore. I didn't have any scars or pain, and I'd want to come back."
Jennifer reminded Montana of that when he talked of retiring. She was afraid he would make a hasty decision, then change his mind.
"I didn't want him to make a mistake by saying something he'd regret," she said last spring.
Montana knows once he says the words, there's no turning back. He won't put his family -- Jennifer, his parents, his four kids -- through that.
He knows what a circus it will be once he does decide. The Daily News report kept Chiefs public relations director Bob Moore's phone ringing from midnight to 4 a.m. before he finally took it off the hook.
And Montana would never make a decision when it would overshadow his team's playoff hopes. He hates hoopla. He doesn't even want a day in his honor at Candlestick Park.
When the time comes, he'll want it to be a non-story. Of course it won't be.
If the Chiefs don't make the playoffs, some think Montana will hold on, hoping to go out in glory. If the Chiefs do make the playoffs -- and have a good run -- some think Montana will hold on, convinced he still has the magic.
My guess is he'll retire. But that's all it is -- a guess. I'm waiting to hear from the man himself. In the meantime, I'd suggest Bob Moore take his phone off the hook sooner if he wants any sleep the last few weeks of the season.