When I saw a report on TV that it was snowing in Colorado I hurried out to the back yard to fetch the hose. Never mind that the Colorado Rockies are a few thousand miles west and a few thousand feet higher in altitude than my back yard.
Never mind that when I went outside to save the hose from impending "freezing" weather I did not have to wear a coat.
I was in a frenzy, my winter-readiness frenzy. It is a behavior pattern I revert to every autumn. It happens when I see TV reports of snow. It happens when dark clouds sweep over Baltimore and the radio crackles that snow is falling in Garrett County. It happens when I worry that "it" is coming.
"It" is winter. Ice. Snow. Blurred windshields. Cold wind howling through uncaulked window frames. Pipes freezing. Snow shovels breaking. AARRRGGHHHH!
Every year I fear Old Man Winter will sneak up on me when I am still wearing shorts. I cope with this fear by making a list of things I feel I should do to batten down the household hatches. I don't always get every task on the list completed before the first snowfall. But simply making the list makes me feel more prepared.
One of the first items on my list is turning off the water supply to the backyard faucet and carrying the hose inside. This prevents the faucet from freezing and the hose from cracking when the weather drops below freezing.
But cutting off the outdoor water supply is also symbolic. It reminds me that the days of lollygagging in the back yard are over, at least for several months. That it is time to get inside. Sometimes it sends me other messages as well.
This year, for example, when I was inside the house turning the water supply off to the outdoor faucet, I felt a breeze near the supply pipe. That told me cold air was coming in from a gap in the outside wall, next to the faucet. Now I had another item for my winter-readiness list, plugging up the gap in the wall with insulation.
Another task on my list is getting a fresh supply of windshield washer liquid for the cars. Somehow driving a vehicle equipped with a full reservoir of washer fluid gives me confidence. I may not be able to stop on the icy roads, but at least I will be able see where I am going to land.
I have a weakness for buying ice scrapers. You can never have enough ice scrapers in your car, I always say. Except in the summer. When I load the car for the August trip to the ocean, ice scrapers seem to come out of the upholstery. Ice scrapers that haven't been seen since the blizzard of 1977 pop out from under the back seat. But on a frosty January morning, when I'm already running late and there is a half inch of ice on the windshield, all the ice scrapers I have ever owned seem to have gone South for the winter.
I check the air pressure and tread on the tires. Tires are like roofs, they aren't much fun, but if they fall apart in bad weather they make you miserable. That is why I check the tires in the fall. I have found it is easier to get a leaky tire fixed when the sun is shining than when the snow is falling.
Alas, there is no remedy for baldness, at least in tires. When your hair thins, you can buy a winter hat. When your tire treads thin, you must buy new tires.
Another item on my winter readiness agenda is stopping window drafts. Usually I do this by putting some caulk in the gaps between the window sash and the window sill. This is fine until spring rolls around and it is time to remove the caulk. When the caulk comes up, so does some of the paint. This year I am experimenting on one window with a removable plastic tape. The label promised me that the tape would not pull up the paint or leave a stain when I removed it. I will know in April if it is telling the truth.
Part of the readiness routine is assessing the family's snow shovel situation. This year I count two good shovels, two young snow shovelers, and me. That looks good. It could mean that during the coming shoveling season I will act only as a supervisor, not a shoveler.
Finally I check the supplies of ice melting material. I don't like keeping large supplies of it around the house. It can be depressing. Seeing it reminds me of last winter when every week was a new experience in stress. When a short walk to your car was filled with icy terror.
I did get a little revenge this summer. One hot day I went to the basement and pulled out a jug of ice melting material. I used it to make homemade ice cream. Here's hoping that is what I end up doing with this winter's supply.