Don't be fooled by 'The Secret Garden'


Got plans? If not, make them, because tonight's TV is too bad not to miss.

* "The Secret Garden" (11:30 a.m.-1 p.m., Channel 13) -- Don't be fooled, or overly excited. This "ABC Kids Movie Matinee" special isn't the recent movie version, or a TV adaptation of the Broadway production. It's a full-length musical cartoon, an animated musical featuring a lot of British talent, most of whom will be more familiar to adults: Derek Jacobi of "I, Claudius," for example, or Honor Blackman, who played Pussy Galore in "Goldfinger." The animation isn't that inventive or fluid, but Frances Hodgson Burnett's story can survive almost anything. ABC.

* "Ernest Scared Stupid" (8 p.m.-10 p.m., Channel 13) -- Put a period between the title's second and third words, and you've got my review. Jim Varney stars. ABC.

* "COPS" (8 p.m.-9 p.m., Channel 45) -- For the first time since this series premiered nationally, "COPS" takes a bite out of the Big Apple and heads out to find and stop crime in the naked city. Come to think of it, merely being naked in the city is a crime in itself. Fox.

* "Tales From the Crypt" (11 p.m.-11:30 p.m., Channel 45) -- In tonight's first "Crypt" tale, a repeat, Sonia Braga guest stars. Fox.


* "Mrs. Doubtfire" (8 p.m.-10:05 p.m., HBO) -- With his cross-dressing role in this 1993 comedy, Robin Williams put the "men" back in menopause.

* "Cybermania 1994" (8:05 p.m.-10:05 p.m., TBS) -- Just when you thought no more awards shows were possible, here comes live coverage of the presentation of awards in the field of interactive video games. Consider this the first dead-end on the infobahn.

* "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" (9 p.m.-1 a.m., TNT) -- But who, I wonder, decided on such a long, long, long, long title? Wouldn't three have been enough?

* "ffolkes" (10:05 p.m.-11:45 p.m., DIS) -- This 1980 movie, starring Roger Moore, is a wwaste of ttime.

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