If the idea of planning a big wedding makes you shudder or if your in-laws-to-be are insisting that your wedding be arranged their way, try some relaxation techniques:

Close your eyes, picture yourself and your spouse-to-be standing on the sands of a far-away beach. As the palm trees sway overhead, you hear the words, "I now pronounce you . . ."

Hmmm, why not?

While a marriage far from home may not be for everyone, an increasing number of couples are getting married in exotic locales from Jamaica to Jerusalem. Some couples swear that sheer adventure is the draw, while others say weddings away from home are more intimate and less stressful.

"It's a treat. It's fun," says Geri Bain, travel editor of Modern Bride magazine. "Some people say it's second-time marriages where the couple wants to slip away quietly, but I think it's often first-time marriages when the couple is in their 20s and just wants to have fun. It's really romantic."

Based on a survey done by the magazine, Ms. Bain estimates that about 62,500 American couples a year opt for weddings away from home.

Such weddings can be as simple and inexpensive or as complex and expensive as you wish. Many hotels in the most popular wedding destinations, such as Jamaica, the Virgin Islands or Barbados, offer packages with prices that run the gamut, and some resorts offer free wedding ceremonies to clients.

"When both people are working, it may take too much effort to plan a wedding, and having someone take care of it all can be really great," says Ms. Bain.

"It can be expensive, but there are also resorts that arrange it so that you can get married for the price of your honeymoon."

When deciding where to get married, consider which climates, activities and locales each person finds romantic and appealing, she suggests. After all, if your fiance doesn't ski, chances are a wedding at a ski resort won't be his dream.

Next, inquire about the requirements for a wedding license in the location you choose. (Maryland does recognize licenses from different countries.)

A good place to start your quest for wedding information is the tourist information board for your chosen locale; many are situated in New York City.

Travel agents usually can help with arrangements -- or can put you in touch with hotels or wedding consultants in your chosen country.

That's how Mahlon Adams of Baltimore planned his July wedding. His goal? To surprise his fiancee.

And did he ever.

A few weeks before the date he had secretly chosen for his wedding, Mr. Adams contacted the Dominican Republic Tourism Board in New York about requirements for weddings. A travel agent helped with reservations at a hotel in the capital city, Santo Domingo, and with airline reservations.

Mr. Adams secretly filled suitcases with a lace-and-sheer wedding dress for his bride-to-be, and an off-white suit for himself. He also packed the documents necessary for a wedding in the Dominican Republic -- birth certificates and driver's licenses.

Then he told his fiancee that he was taking her on a vacation.

He kept his secret until about one hour before the ceremony began, when he gave her the off-white dress and said, "We're getting married!"

She was thrilled.

"It was in an orchid garden overlooking the sea. They had music, they greeted us with tropical drinks, they had a massive bouquet for me with every type of tropical flowers," says Sandra Adams, who still sounds both dazed and enchanted.

"It was wonderful. It was really wonderful," she adds.

For Mr. Adams, the faraway wedding was both affordable and memorable. "There's no way I could have done something that special here," he says. "I was trying to be original, to be different and get away from all the planning hassles. If I had a chance to do it all over again, I'd do it."

A number of islands in the Caribbean are geared for people who, like Mr. Adams, want a romantic, unusual wedding away from home. Getting married in other locations, however, can involve a tangle of paperwork, and the rules in each place may differ widely.

Many countries have residency requirements -- and insist that couples live in the area they have chosen for a wedding for a certain period of time. In England and Wales, for example, couples must post wedding banns -- and they must live in the country for seven days before the banns go out and for 21 days after.

By contrast, in Scotland and Austria, there is no residency requirement, says Ms. Bain.

Nonetheless, if your heart is set on getting married somewhere far away, but the arrangements seem too complicated, there is hope: Travel agencies are increasingly offering wedding packages aimed at adventuresome couples.

For example, for Jewish couples with a dramatic flair, Sabra Tours of Baltimore offers a traditional wedding held in the Old City of Jerusalem.

The ceremony begins at Jaffa Gate, a huge stone entrance to the Old City. The man and woman to be married, dressed in traditional garb, are carried on a litter by six men along the stone alleys, past market vendors and shops. At the Western Wall, they are met by a rabbi and a cantor, who perform the wedding. Afterward, the couple is whisked away to a honeymoon at Eilat, a beach resort on the Red Sea.

Sabra has offered the Old City package, which "blends modern and religious aspects of marriage," for about a year, says Isaac Nege of Sabra Tours. About five couples have tried it: One brought family members with them to Israel; another arranged to have Israeli relatives come to their wedding reception, he says.

Low-hassle weddings often appeal to couples who are getting married for the second time or to those who already lead chaotic lives, says John Hammond, manager of Friendship Travel in Glen Burnie.

"Often they just don't want to make a big deal out of it. They quietly go down to Jamaica or somewhere instead of holding the big church wedding," he says.

Mr. Hammond has planned weddings in faraway places and, while vacationing in Jamaica, has served as best man a time or two. "Once the man wore a tux and the other time the man wore a short-sleeved casual outfit!" he says.

Laid-back may best describe Kim and Mark Terry's 1992 wedding in Jamaica.

"I tell everyone we stayed on the beach till 4 and got married at 5," says Ms. Terry. "There was no stress. It was great. Nobody to please but us. Just us," she says.

The Upperco couple chose to get married in Jamaica, where several hotels and resorts provide wedding ceremonies free to its clients.

"You have to be [in Jamaica] 48 hours before getting married," says Ms. Terry. "We met with the wedding coordinator after we arrived, and she took her time with us: We chose flowers and boutonniere and picked what time we wanted to get married. We timed the wedding for sunset."

But just because the Terrys were married on a faraway island didn't mean that friends and family missed out. Upon their return to Maryland, the couple rented a hall and invited friends and family to a reception -- complete with a video of the ceremony.

"The whole thing was just terrific and romantic," says Ms. Terry.

They had so much fun at their wedding, in fact, that they returned to Jamaica last spring to do it all again -- by renewing their wedding vows.

Wedding Words To the Wise

Before you toss your bathing suit into your suitcase and zip off for an exotic wedding, here are a few things to consider:

* Decide how you are going to tell both families. Once an engagement is announced, expectations rise. It may be best to announce both engagement and out-of-country wedding plans simultaneously, suggests Geri Bain of Modern Bride magazine.

* Remember why you want a wedding away: If it's to save money, keep your plans simple, otherwise costs will add up. If it's to avoid family conflicts, don't invite the very relatives whose presence will cause tension, Ms. Bain says.

* If you want friends or family to be present, plan accordingly price-wise and give them plenty of time to make their own plans. If friends do come, you might plan group activities such as boat or bike rides, in addition to organizing the wedding and %o reception.

* May and June are the best months for Caribbean island weddings -- hurricane season runs August through October. As for weather patterns in other destinations, it would be wise to check before you go.

Getting Hitched Without a Hitch

Here's some information on arranging wedding ceremonies abroad or on board cruise ships heading for foreign destinations:

St. John, U.S. Virgin Islands:

The Hyatt Regency St. John Resort, among others, offers wedding packages that run about $1,039. That includes an on-site wedding ceremony (on the beach, in a garden), a choice of clergy, photography service, a two-tier wedding cake, champagne, a bouquet and a boutonniere.

Call (809) 693-8000.

Jamaica:

To get married in Jamaica you need your birth certificate and divorce papers if you are divorced. You need to be on the island for 24 hours before getting married. A number of hotels and resorts offer wedding packages.

$ Call (800) 233-4582.

Barbados:

Requirements for marriages in Barbados include passports or birth certificates; previous marriage certificates and divorce papers if applicable; and a letter from the authorized officiant who will perform the wedding service in Barbados. Couples wishing to have a Roman Catholic wedding have additional requirements.

$ Call (800) 221-9831.

Old City, Jerusalem:

Sabra Tours of Pikesville offers a wedding package in Jerusalem's Old City. Couples need a letter from their rabbi documenting that they are Jewish. The ceremony costs $1,500 plus air fare to and from Israel. A three-day honeymoon to Eilat is an additional $349.

$ Call (410) 486-4111.

Aboard ship:

The next best thing to getting married in an exotic locale could be getting married aboard a ship about to sail for an exotic locale. Carnival Cruise Lines offers weddings on board ships that sail from ports such as Miami and Port Canaveral in Florida to destinations such as the Bahamas, Caribbean islands and the Mexican Riviera. However, the ceremony must be performed at the port -- before the ship sails.

In addition to the price of the cruise, a basic $490 fee includes the ceremony, a bottle of champagne, a small wedding cake, flowers and photography service. Couples may arrange for a reception to be held afterward on board in the lounge or library.

/# Call (800) 438-6744, Ext. 5010.