Anyone who's ever had a live crab jump out of the steamer and scramble across the kitchen floor appreciates the laid-back appeal of a crab house, where cracking claws and downing beer are the most taxing requirements in the pursuit of hot steamed crabs.
But are all crab houses the same? To some, it might seem that way. The brown kraft paper, the salty seasoning, the unceremonious dumping of crabs from plastic tray to center of table.
After much grueling research (who are we kidding here?), we can answer with a resounding no. The crab house that's perfect for dining with your in-laws may not be right for: a) socializing with a rowdy bunch of friends, b) impressing a first date or c) making a glutton of yourself over a dozen jumbo males at a table for one.
There are crab houses for those who feel like standing up to eat, eating under palm trees or dancing after eating. There are crab houses that are roomy enough for 100 close friends and swanky enough for celebrities. And there are crab houses overlooking, on, and even in, the water.
This is not a definitive guide. It's more of a quick gastronomic tour of the fun and flavor of our area's crab houses. Some are well-known. Some are not.
To make the cut, restaurants simply had to have an impressive atmosphere and top-notch crabs. One caveat: You may occasionally find a waterlogged or mushy crab at even the best crab houses. If you're dissatisfied, bring it to the manager's attention. Overall, though, the crab houses we've selected serve terrific crabs.
We're talking beautiful swimmers here. Callinectes sapidus, the feisty blue crustacean that's practically synonymous with the state of Maryland itself.
BEST STAND-UP CRAB HOUSE
Faidley Seafood, Lexington Market
400 W. Paca St., Baltimore
(410) 727-4898
Crabs available May through October
Centuries ago, the Scottish ate their porridge standing up, in part because that position allowed them to consume more food, and in part to be prepared if a battle happened to interrupt breakfast.
For those engaged in warfare of a corporate nature, or those who just want a quick lunch of steamed crabs, Faidley Seafood in Lexington Market offers patrons an opportunity to keep watch and eat crabs at the same time.
In fact, you can't sit down if you wanted to here. Customers must sidle up to rows of varnished wooden counters, sans seats. Steamed crabs are available opposite the cafeteria line, near the cases of fresh seafood on ice. Spiced firecracker red, they are lined up according to their size.
We tried the super jumbo ($30 a dozen) and the large ($15 a dozen). Both were slightly waterlogged. They were also cold, which is fine with me; I like my crabs hot or cold but not lukewarm. If you want hot crabs here, you'll have to wait until the freshly steamed ones are pulled from the crab kettle. The spice mix isn't hot, but it is salty.
While there surely are more comfortable places to eat crabs, you can't beat the market setting. Crabs are handed over on a sheet of white paper, along with a wooden mallet, but no knife. And standing at the counter, it's fun to survey the lunch crowd and the carnival atmosphere of Faidley's. There are layers upon layers of signs, a veritable shantytown of advertisements proclaiming what's for sale. There's even an oyster sign dating to the original Faidley's in 1887 and one touting muskrat in season.
Our favorite, though, was the sage pronouncement of the eminently quotable Ben Franklin: "Company and fish go bad in three days." To that we add, "And crabs even faster."
BEST FLOATING CRAB HOUSE
Crab Boats at Harrison's Pier 5
5711 Eastern Ave., Baltimore
(410) 783-5553
Open April through October, weather permitting
If you like to eat crabs near the water, you'll love Harrison's Pier 5, where you actually eat crabs on the water -- courtesy of two authentic Chesapeake oyster buy-boats (vessels used to hold oysters purchased directly from watermen).
Board the Levin Faulkner Harrison or the Big Crab, grab a picnic table and order fresh crabs, hauled by the Harrison Oyster Co. on the Eastern Shore, where the family line dates to the 1600s.
You can watch the workers steam crabs in big steel pots on the bow, pouring in pitchers-full of spices. Bushels of live crabs are lined up next to the action (any dead crabs are tossed directly overboard into the Inner Harbor).
The staff seems eager to please. Any complaint brings immediate attention. We overheard one kid say that he only liked claws and some were missing from his pile of crabs. Within moments, his waiter delivered a dozen or more claws that the cook fished from the bottom of the pot. "Wow," was both his and our reaction.
The crabs we tried were $22.50 a dozen -- a mixture of medium and large. Ours were on the smallish side, but we only ordered a half-dozen and got 10 instead. A deal. They were finger-stinging hot, covered in a seasoning mixture with extra paprika, and steamed perfectly.
The rest of the menu is limited to steamed clams, spiced shrimp, soup and corn. The best that can be said of the cream of crab soup was that it was piping hot. The thick base was a bit too floury.
One word of advice to anyone prone to motion sickness: Dramamine. Though the boats always stay docked, their subtle bobbing motion may send landlubbers to shore.
BEST FAUX TROPICAL CRAB HOUSE
The Boathouse and Crab Deck
515 S. Eden St., Baltimore
(410) 675-3808
Open through October, or longer if weather permits
There's nothing like driving down U.S. 1 in the Florida Keys and stopping at a roadside conch bar for stone crabs, with the sun filtering down overhead through palm fronds.
Believe it or not, that experience can be duplicated at the Boathouse and Crab Deck, the new outdoor spinoff of Bohager's in Fells Point.
Of course, the crabs are Maryland blues, and beyond the 20-foot palms there is a view of the brick warehouses on the surrounding blocks. This tropical outpost is in the middle of the city, after all.
We walked in past pink hibiscus bushes, past the weathered sign pointing to South Beach, past the nautical flags, to get to the deck. The tin-roofed awning over most of the tables is outfitted with steel industrial lamps and ceiling fans, giving it a Caribbean feel.
Large crabs were available for $26 a dozen. We tried the Tuesday special of all-you-can-eat crabs for $14.95. Included in the price were a piece of corn and a cup of Maryland crab soup.
For a crab house in operation less than two months, the Boathouse and Crab Deck is pretty impressive. Our crabs were just-from-the-steamer hot on both rounds and not one was cooked improperly. The crab-cooking mixture was a bit heavy on salt, but otherwise tasty. It relied on black pepper instead of red to give it some kick.
As for the side dishes: No wonder they were trying to give the soup away. It was salty and bitter-tasting. The cream of crab was much better, an almost frothy mix of butter and cream garnished with crab meat and chopped parsley.
After the meal, I asked the way to the ladies' room. A waitress told me, "Cross the beach and to the left." The beach?
Sure enough, there's a little man-made beach inside this urban oasis. Nothing like leaving a crab house with a little sand in your shoes.
BEST CRAB HOUSE WITH A VIEW
Harris Crab House
Kent Narrows (Exit 42 off of Route 50), Grasonville
(410) 827-9500
Open year-round
For a bird's-eye view of the Kent Narrows, climb the stuffy stairwell at Harris Crab House to reach the breezy upper deck.
Whiling away a Sunday afternoon watching the boats go by is hard to beat. The crowds start getting larger near dinner time, so come early enough to get a whole picnic table to yourself.
The large crabs ($24 a dozen) were straight from the steamer -- hot and succulent. Extra dry seasoning was poured over them before they were brought to the table.
There were so many flakes of coarse salt in the spice blend, it almost looked white. The other main ingredients were Old Bay-type seasonings and cayenne. This tasty mix, great on crabs in August, could be a secret weapon on icy sidewalks come January.
We liked the handy caddy of crab accouterments on each table, holding a shaker bottle of seasoning, a squeeze bottle of cider vinegar and little plastic tubs for dipping.
Service was fast and friendly. After servers cover tables in brown paper, they scribble their names on them, so customers can holler if they need something. We never had to, though. Our waitress must have been psychic.
Fresh coleslaw, served in a plastic foam tub, was barely dressed with a hint of sweetness. It was a terrific antidote to the salty crabs and a great deal at 75 cents.
As we left, we looked longingly at what we later learned are called Nutty Buddies. Made for Harris' at an ice cream shop in Crofton, these are tall cones of vanilla ice cream dipped in chocolate and nuts and frozen until as they're firm as a beehive hairdo.
BEST ROWHOUSE CRAB HOUSE
Gunning's Crab House
3901 S. Hanover St., Brooklyn (410) 354-0085
Open year-round
It's appropriate that the setting for one of Baltimore's most famous crab houses is a rowhouse, the defining architectural symbol of the city.
People have been trotting down to the Brooklyn neighborhood for years for the sole purpose of eating crabs at Gunning's. Over a year ago, Leo Devine bought Gunning's, which was in foreclosure, and kept the name. To complicate things, there's now Gunning's Seafood Restaurant in Hanover, run by Eddie Gunning Jr., whose father owned the original Gunning's.
But much remains the same in the Brooklyn establishment. The emphasis is on steamed crabs and, of course, fried green pepper rings dusted with powdered sugar. Encased in fabulously puffy dough, these are as much doughnuts as vegetables. The onion rings are treated similarly, except for the sugar.
The crabs ($24 for a dozen large) were sweet and steamed well in a blend of seasonings studded with coarse black pepper and salt. We cooled our tongues with old-fashioned cucumber salad. The sweet vinegar dressing was infused with cloves for a different twist.
Inside and out, this simple, old Baltimore-style restaurant is true to its blue-collar setting. Two dining rooms filled with red checked tables straddle the dark center bar. But if you're looking for a true urban experience, dine outside in Gunning's garden.
As in the back yards of many rowhouses, there's not a ficus or fern in sight. This is a garden of concrete. But it's not lacking in color. Strings of outdoor party lanterns looped to the wooden awning provide a healthy splash.
BEST SCENIC-DRIVE CRAB HOUSE
Pier Street Restaurant, West Pier Street, Oxford
(410) 226-5171
Open April 2 through mid-November
Whether you take the Oxford-Bellevue ferry, pull up to the dock in your own boat, or turn off Route 50 passing green fields of corn on either side, getting to the Pier Street Restaurant is a quintessential Eastern Shore experience.
And it only gets better: You can sit outside, toss saltines to schools of rockfish and crack steamed crabs. We could have eaten shells here and been happy.
On the covered deck overlooking the Tred Avon River, up-ended bushel baskets serve as makeshift lampshades, and tables are covered with vinyl in a crisp blue and white check. No doubt about it, this is crab country.
Our waitress inquired if we needed vinegar, extra Old Bay or melted butter. We liked the refreshing lift of dipping crab pieces into spiced vinegar, the Eastern Shore way.
Crabs were a mix of medium and large for $24 a dozen, but they were mostly on the small-medium side. We suspect they didn't come directly from the steamer, but they were good nonetheless. They're covered in the barest amount of seasoning, so having extra on the side was a good idea.
We loved the old-fashioned potato salad, creamy yellow with hard-boiled eggs and studded with relish bits. The vegetable crab soup also was terrific, thick with hunks of celery, cabbage and stewed tomato.
Like Oxford itself, the Pier Street Restaurant is full of history. It opened more than 100 years ago as an oyster-shucking house. Over the years, as rooms were added, it turned from a crab shack into a simple riverside tavern, and finally into a full-fledged restaurant.
Crabs, though, are Pier Street's mainstay. Boaters know that from a distance. They ask, "Are you the place with the bright red roof and the giant crab painted on top?"
BEST FERN BAR CRAB HOUSE
The Glenmore Garden
4813 Belair Road, Baltimore
(410) 488-2366
Open year-round
With lots of hanging plants, oak furnishings and stained-glass accents, the Glenmore Garden looks more like a fern bar than a crab house. Former owner George Milich renovated the place over the last six years and transformed it from a neighborhood eatery into an attractive bar/restaurant with yuppie appeal.
A light oak wall trimmed with a brass rail divides the bar from the small restaurant area, which features sturdy wood tables and oak-rail chairs. There are more tables outside in the garden.
From that vantage point, you can watch the crabs being steamed in enormous steel kettles. When we visited, the crabs were from South Carolina ($32 a dozen, large). Half of the ones we tried had an unappealing mushy texture, most likely from being boiled at the bottom of the pot. The others were just fine. We liked the seasoning mix, though. It was chock-full of rock salt and wasn't too spicy. A side of coleslaw was fresh and sweet, but conventional-tasting, as if scooped from a supermarket tub.
The Glenmore Garden also takes the prize for being the only crab house we visited that has a fireplace. That might not seem too inviting on a sweltering August afternoon, but come February it'll be cozy.
BEST BOATERS' CRAB HOUSE
Jimmy Cantler's Riverside Inn
458 Forest Beach Road, Annapolis
(410) 757-1467
Open year-round
It seems a heck of a lot easier to pull a boat up to the dock at Cantler's than to get into the parking lot. As we left, there was a line of 25 cars snaking up the winding road that leads to this beloved waterside crab house.
All for the pleasure of eating crabs elbow and thigh to the person sitting next to you. This family-style seating arrangement requires some diplomacy or you're likely to cover your neighbor with a bay-kissed spray of crab schmutz.
We sampled the extra-large crabs for $35 a dozen. Covered lightly in seasoning, they were deliciously moist, not mushy. The mix is Baltimore's J. O. Brand, filled with coarse salt and crushed red pepper.
This is a good place to practice the art of cracking crabs. Smacking them with wooden dowels instead of mallets does just the right amount of damage to the shell without smashing it to smithereens.
Corn is steamed here in the husk, silk and all. The ear we tried was white and sweet. Smoked bonita was flavorful and moist, but bright yellow honey mustard was a strange accompaniment.
This hideaway crab house is the best worst-kept secret in Annapolis. When Jimmy Cantler opened for business 20 years ago, the place was essentially a wharf bar frequented by a rough crowd. Now, it's been discovered by Baltimore and Washington. Go early or go by water.
BEST CELEBRITY CRAB HOUSE
Obrycki's,
1727 E. Pratt St., Baltimore
(410) 732-6399
Open April through November
Danny DeVito, Alan Alda, Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Kevin Bacon, Elizabeth Perkins and (Baltimore natives) Barry Levinson and John Waters. They all have at least two things in common. They're all celebrities and they've all eaten at Obrycki's, arguably the most famous crab house in Baltimore.
Owners Rose and Richard Cernak don't want to advertise that fact, though. They pride themselves on operating a low-key establishment where the beautiful people can blend in, unhounded by autograph seekers. Where they don't have to fear being photographed with crab juice dripping down their chins. So if you spot a movie star at Obrycki's, be discreet.
This handsome restaurant is done in a Colonial scheme, with muted tones of blue and pink on crown moldings and window trim, gleaming brass chandeliers, and Waverly-style print curtains and wallpaper. We're told the new building doesn't have the urban charm of the restaurant's previous location -- next door -- but it does offer what celebrities and ordinary eaters have come to expect -- good food, excellent service and comfortable, polished surroundings.
Crabs are steamed in what Obrycki's calls a "magical blend of seasonings." The magic seems to be supplied by a mix of salt, black pepper and mustard. It doesn't have the warm burn of some spice blends, but rather a straightforward kick.
We tried the large crabs ($32 a dozen), which were meaty and sweet. A shaker of extra crab seasoning is brought to the table, along with wet napkins.
To round out the meal, try a cup of savory crab soup, full of vegetables in a peppery tomato base. Pass on the ordinary-tasting coleslaw.
Obrycki's has been in business under different ownerships since 1944. That's quite a record for a restaurant that's only open during crab season.
BEST DANCERS' CRAB HOUSE
The Barn
9527 Harford Road, Carney
(410) 882-6182
Open year-round
Say you've got two urgent cravings: the first to eat your fill of hot steamed crabs, the second to get hot and sweaty on the dance floor. The Barn is the place to do both.
On weekends here, they feature live bands playing progressive and classic rock in the upstairs room. The cover is usually $3. During the week, entertainment ranges from music played by a disc jockey to country dance lessons.
Downstairs, there's some serious eating going on. You can tell from the cacophony of sound that echoes up the staircase. Noise this loud can only be made by a roomful of people wielding wooden mallets.
It's nice and cool in this big basement room, a pleasant place to eat crabs on a summer night. The stone foundation and rough wooden pillars add a rustic touch. Green-shaded lamps hang down overhead.
We tried the large crabs, offered that night at $30 a dozen. They were heavy with sweet crabs, with not an oversteamed one in the bunch. The seasoning is made for the Barn by the J. O. Spice Co. and it's not too salty or spicy.
But the same seasoning overwhelmed the Maryland crab soup. Coleslaw was fresh but sugary. What we really should have tried were the onion rings. They beckoned mightily from the table next to ours.
Service can be slow, but patience is in order because everything needs to be ferried from the kitchen upstairs.
BEST CRAB HOUSE FOR A CROWD
Bo Brooks
5415 Belair Road, Baltimore
(410) 488-8144
Open year-round
Bo Brooks doesn't look enormous, but the night we visited the restaurant accommodated a party of more than 100. That's a lot of crabs.
Dining with a large group works to your advantage at Bo Brooks. It's the only way you'll avoid waiting in line, since reservations are only taken for parties of 10 or more. Trust us, there's usually a line.
In terms of atmosphere, the restaurant is fairly utilitarian, with bright orange cafeteria-style chairs and tables covered in brown kraft paper. A big bucket is left at your feet for removal of shells.
The night we were there, only small and medium crabs were available ($20 and $25 a dozen, respectively). We tried the mediums and found them steamed perfectly, with a spicy blend of seasonings that made our lips numb. Crushed red pepper and coarse salt were significant ingredients. The crabs also had a faintly sweet taste from being steamed in beer and pickle juice.
Side orders were good, too. The cream of crab soup was !B delicious, with a thin, buttery-tasting base, and the dark Maryland crab soup, full of crab and celery chunks, wasn't too salty. Finely chopped coleslaw was neither too thick nor sweet, with a nice dose of celery seed.
A giant crab painted on the wall near the entrance proclaims, "Bo knows crabs." We agree.
BEST CRABS CORNER
Pratt and Monroe streets, Baltimore
OK, so we're cheating a little here, but no discussion of crab houses would be complete without including the odoriferous intersection of Pratt and Monroe streets in West Baltimore.
The smell of fresh crabs being steamed at three establishments here mingles with the sun-baked odors coming from discarded crab bushels outside.
Martini's crab house is on the northeast corner and Sea Pride on the southeast. The oldest and most famous of the crab houses, (( Bay Island Seafood, is on the southwest corner, at 1901 W. Pratt St. Since 1952, Bay Island has supplied city dwellers with the perfect summer meal: hot steamed crabs in a fiery mixture of spices, including crushed red pepper and flaked coarse salt. The ones we tried ($12 a dozen) were all females, so they weren't as meaty, but they're steamed to just the right moment.
Bay Island is open year-round. On holiday weekends, the lines stretch down the block, said Ronald Moree, president of Bay Island Seafood.
KATHRYN HIGHAM is a free-lance writer living in Roland Park.