Lynne Palmeiro can walk out into her back yard and see the lights from The Ballpark in Arlington. It's not exactly The House That Rafael Built, but it figured to be his playground the rest of his career.
Fifteen minutes away, the Palmeiros are building their dream home, a five-bedroom, 15,000-square-foot palace. Lynne remembers going to Arlington Stadium and greeting parents from her son's preschool class. It won't be like that in Baltimore, not right away, maybe not ever.
Lynne said she barely slept for two weeks and lost 10 pounds in eight days after the Texas Rangers snubbed Rafael for his old Mississippi State teammate, Will Clark. But slowly, she's beginning to understand that things could work out for the best. Slowly, Baltimore is starting to look good.
What Rafael needs now is a hug, a mammoth embrace from this baseball-crazed city, a sense of belonging in a game that twice left him betrayed. Texas is home, but Baltimore can provide something just as meaningful. Baltimore can make Rafael Palmeiro feel wanted.
"Last year, when we knew he'd be a free agent, every night I prayed that the best thing for us as a family would happen," Lynne said from Arlington Thursday night, while packing for the family's move to Baltimore.
"I keep telling myself, 'OK, I got what I prayed for.' When we got traded [from the Chicago Cubs in 1988], I thought it was the end of the world, and it turned out to befor the best. I keep thinking, 'This will turn out the same way.' "
They met as sophomores at Mississippi State. They got married after Rafael's first pro season in 1985. When they left Chicago after his first full major-league season, about the only thing they owned was a dog.
Now, they have four dogs and four horses and a 4-year-old named Patrick Ryne -- his middle name is after Palmeiro's former Cubs teammate, Ryne Sandberg. But they're proof that money can't buy everything. The Palmeiro household was not a happy place after the Rangers signed Clark.
"It seemed I was mad at a different person every hour," Lynne said, listing all the notables -- her husband, Clark, Rangers president Tom Schieffer and the agents for Clark (Jeff Moorad) and Palmeiro (Jim Bronner). "Anybody I could blame -- I was looking for somebody to blame."
Rafael said Lynne indeed took it harder: "She said she felt as bad as when she lost her dad. That's how crushed she was." But Rafael -- the calmer one -- continues to blast the Rangers with little urging. What happens if he can't channel his emotions?
The Orioles don't seem worried. "Time heals things," manager Johnny Oates said. "He's good in the clubhouse and the dugout. He'll be all right. He'll make new friends. He was probably upset when he left Chicago, too."
In fact, Palmeiro had his worst season after the Cubs sent him to Texas in a nine-player trade that brought them reliever Mitch Williams and helped them win the NL East in '89. He's five years older now, but said this was a more difficult move, because he was established in Texas.
With the Orioles playing six of their first 11 games against the Rangers -- including three at the new park in Arlington -- Palmeiro could bury himself quickly. He says everything is behind him. But Lynne keeps asking him: "Are you sure? Are you sure?"
"I'm not worried about it anymore," Palmeiro said this week in St. Petersburg, Fla. "I don't think about it. What's done is done. I look forward to the great situation I'm in. It is a great situation, a great opportunity.
"When I got here, I knew it was time to play baseball -- that's what I enjoy doing. Everything else is just B.S., as far as what happened in Texas, the way they treated me. I'm ready. I'm ready, man. I'm ready to win a World Series. That's what it's all about, anyway."
All he wants is to be accepted, to be appreciated. The son of Cuban immigrants, he never had it as easy as Clark, the 1984 U.S. Olympian, the all-American boy. Where Clark is utterly confident, Palmeiro can be oddly insecure.
It was Clark who walked right up to Palmeiro during pre-game warm-ups last Saturday and extended a handshake, not the other way around. It was Clark who refused to engage in a verbal sparring match this winter, as if he still owned the upper hand in the rivalry.
He doesn't -- Palmeiro was a superior player last season, and looks like a better investment over five years. That's why he was so enraged when the Rangers signed Clark. Hadn't he proved himself once and for all?
"We were just in shock," Lynne said. "Never in my life could I have predicted it would turn out the way it did. Plus, he was so hurt, too. Usually, if he's not hitting, not performing well, you still know everything is going to be OK.
"It wasn't that I was worried he wouldn't get a job. I was just worried, 'Was he going to recover from this? Was he going to be OK?' I was worried about myself, too. Now, it's still hard for me sometimes. But I'm glad for Rafael. Overall, he's probably in a better situation.
"I can honestly say they [the Rangers] never appreciated him for his talents, what he brought to his team. Even if he had re-signed with Texas, I don't know if he would have been appreciated the way the people in Baltimore, from what I've gathered, already feel about him."
Yet, many Orioles fans cringed this spring when Palmeiro said his heart was in Texas -- the home team guaranteed him $30.35 million, and he still wasn't happy? "People don't understand, it's not about the money," Palmeiro said. "It's about the respect you deserve."
He earned $4.55 million last season. He knew free agency would set him for life. But the Cubs traded him after he finished second in the National League batting race. And the Rangers rejected him for his most bitter rival after he produced a career-best, 37-homer, 105-RBI season.
Actually, Palmeiro rejected the Rangers first, turning down a five-year, $26.5 million offer. In retrospect, it might appear a foolish move, considering that he wanted to stay in Texas. But the Rangers imposed a deadline, then pulled their offer off the table. The old issue of respect.
"A slap in the face," Palmeiro called it last week. "No respect, no courtesy, no nothing." Whatever, he's in Baltimore now. He and Lynne are leasing a waterfront condominium at the Inner Harbor. Their dream home in Texas will be ready this fall.
Yet, for all their millions, nothing is guaranteed. It's possible things won't go smoothly with the Orioles. The big money creates big expectations. Cal Ripken is the hometown superstar. Chris Sabo will be a working-class favorite. There are only so many heroes to go around.
Still, Palmeiro is a player who seems to reinvent himself every season -- he led the AL in hits in 1990 and doubles in '91; now, he's a genuine slugger and potential Gold Glove winner at first base.
He's so eager for stardom, he does every interview, and even gives reporters his home telephone number. Contrast that with Clark, who persuaded the Rangers to limit media access during spring training, the most informal time of year.
No, this is not an ungrateful whiner.
This is a player to embrace, to enjoy.
"I don't think it would have been genuine for him to say this was his first choice," Orioles general manager Roland Hemond said. "He was just being honest. I don't see anything wrong with that. Opening Day in Baltimore, he'll find out how welcome he is."
A standing ovation is the standard pre-game procedure, but it might be wise to save something extra for Palmeiro. His turbulent winter is over. He's happy to be an Oriole. All he wants now is to win your heart.
ORIOLES TODAY
Opponent: Philadelphia Phillies
Site: Oriole Park at Camden Yards
Time: 1:35 p.m.
TV/Radio: HTS/WBAL (1090 AM)