Hyperbole 101 -- CBS' understated "TONIGHT THEY SKATE!" promo for Tonya-Nancy showdown said to be inspired by same restrained producer who originated "JAPANESE BOMB PEARL HARBOR!"
Unless it was too much makeup -- Tonya Harding's desultory performance and 10th place finish in women's technical program now being blamed on Connie Chung's incessant badgering as well as ill-fated decision to wear bowling shirt from "Bob's Qwik-Mart" during competition.
How would you like that steak? -- Finland's 6-1 rout of Team USA in hockey leaves Americans out of medal contention and coach Tim Taylor quietly looking into a job at Sizzler's in Cromwell, Conn.
Look-alikes -- Charles Kuralt and McGruff the Crime Dog.
thought they looked familiar -- Goggles used by speed skater Bonnie Blair to win 1,000 meters allegedly stolen from high school welding class in Milwaukee. The five-time gold medalist now promises to enroll in local "Scared Straight" program.
Tomba La Bomba -- Following poor showing in giant slalom, professional hedonist Alberto Tomba now questioning his decision to go without sleep for the last 120 hours in Hugh Hefner Suite at Oslo Sheraton.
Alternate viewing -- "Seinfeld," Ch. 2, 9 p.m. Jerry discovers a piece of parsley lodged between his two front teeth.