Howard Stern devotes separate chapters of his book, "Private Parts," to celebrities he likes and those he hates.
Bob Hope: "I don't know if he's on the same planet with the rest of us. But one thing he knows is how to promote whatever stupid NBC special he's got coming up."
Donald Trump: "Donald is probably the only person on the planet who's more afraid of germs than I am."
Joan Rivers: "Although I like Joan a lot, there are two odd things about her. How is it that a rich woman can go on TV and sell that fake jewelry with a straight face? . . . And how much longer can she go on milking the death of her husband, Edgar, for ratings?"
Jessica Hahn: "I really felt sorry for her. It was clear that she had been manipulated and used by these phony preachers."
Dick Cavett: "I always love having Cavett on because he's good for some juicy stories. They usually center on his various mental ailments and the drugs he was taking to combat them. I was convinced that he wasn't on antidepressants but antiratings drugs."
Linda McCartney: "Here's one of the world's greatest musicians [Paul McCartney], he married this photographer, now he can't pick up a guitar without this bim singing along and pounding on the piano."
Oprah Winfrey: "I have no idea why people like Oprah Winfrey. She just stole Phil Donahue's format and she gets all these poor slobs to go on TV, spill their guts, and she doesn't give them a dime, she just speeds off in her Rolls-Royce after the show."
Arsenio Hall: "So many of my black friends tell me they wish they were yellow, they're so embarrassed by this triangle-headed moron. He is everything that is wrong with show business . . ."
Rush Limbaugh: "He was so lousy at radio that, at one point, he had to give it up and take some lame job. Then he heard me and suddenly he was back on the radio trying to do me."
Larry King: "How this guy has a television show and a radio show and a newspaper column is beyond me."